A Crappy World

2011-03-06T11:08:00.001+08:00

it's been long since i'm that crazy, and having fun.
AND I'M LOVING IT =)
thanks friends, you all made my day=)

bunch of incoherent speech.

2011-02-19T09:43:00.004+08:00

1. To tell everyone that i'm just fine and happy and jolly as always would be a lie.

2. but well, i'm trying.

3. at least i'm still in one piece.

4. the hardest thing to do is to love yourself, nurturing yourself with the appropriate nutrition, care, boost and confidence.

5. i'm amused by my ability to be hopelessly romantic and cynical at the same time.

6. it's so good to write things down in point form. so that i dont hv to waste my energy to connect everything together.

7. sometimes the one and only simple thing that you're hoping for could be just the thing that you didn't get. and it makes you restless even when u've got the 99 other things.

8. living for myself is such a hard thing for me.

9. i should sleep because i'm getting hungry already. i hope i'm not losing more weight )=

10. so yeah, good night everyone! might come back and blog more if i couldn't sleep.

p.s. you'll be here. i know you will.

hello.

2011-02-11T20:16:00.002+08:00

haven't been posting here for almost half a year already lol.
in case you wanna know, i'm still alive and kicking.
past few months have been a really life-changing experience for me.
growing up, being independent, being at peace, taking the initiative, getting more involved, gaining mental strength, being happy and sad.
though it's a hard road, glad i've managed to survive it so far.
a long way ahead, but already walked through a long way, so yeah, things are not as bad as it seems.

i'm moving on...

2010-10-17T23:40:00.002+08:00

in my dictionary, there's hardly me.
there's only person A, person B, person C......the list goes on.
why am i making myself so insignificant.
cant get through the barrier...
i still cant...
yes i sill think and care too much.

i admit.

2010-10-07T03:56:00.002+08:00

i admit. i'm weak. i'm frail.
i have to strengthen the mind.
to withstand the overwhelming loneliness.
why other people can do it.
but i cant.
the tears...
i can't let those who care for me to be worried about me.
i must be strong for them.

UK!

2010-09-24T03:04:00.001+08:00

hello everyone! blogging from UK now.
surviving.
i'll update more next time. bye!

selamat tinggal tanahairku. till we meet again.

2010-09-18T01:27:00.002+08:00

approximately 24 hours more.
to those who have been loving and caring for me unconditionally, thank you.
to those who have made me angry and sad, thank you.
to you, thank you.
no apologies here. at least not for the moment.
goodbye.
till we meet again.

cheers,
Shien.

chillax.

2010-09-14T17:52:00.002+08:00

been sooo long since i get to rest at home, reading a book, sitting in front of the computer, enjoying my precious time alone.

it feels good... seeing peace among chaos... crapping here as crappily as i wish...

sooo lazy.... off to read~

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy=)

2010-09-13T01:36:00.002+08:00

hello i'm back!!
after several months...
what was i doing for the past few months...
hmm...
loads of stuffs=)
happy ones, sad ones...

will try to resume active in blogging...
esp when i'm in uk...
to tell everyone how bad and/or good am i living my life there...
yes peeps i'm leaving in 6 days time
to sheffield, somewhere near manchester...
yea doing year 2 psychology...
omg omg omg omg omg
(seriously what's so big deal about it... nooooooo laaaa i'm sooo nervous!!)
i'm amazed by my monologue skills...T.T

hanged out with s5-ians again today. last meeting with them before i leave malaysia.
as usual, had really really really loads of fun with them =)=)=)
seriously if time could be reversed i would have appreciated them alot more instead of putting myself in dilemma over certain stuffs dont ask...
anyway, i believe that our bonds will be strong as always...
<3 s5!

time is running out...
the beginning of an end...

SUJU SARANGHAE^^

2010-03-21T02:38:00.002+08:00

Super Show 2 is awesome awesome awesome.
everyone's good=)
but i'm not that crazy anymore la since my prefrontal cortex is quite developed already (non-psych majors pls just bear with me)

and erm...some self-developed sleeping philosophies:

1. when you're stressed out with anything that's related to courseworks, and you did all you could about it, and you think that if you continue to do it'll just further prove how stupid you are. go sleep.

2. when you start to say before you think. go sleep.

3. when you're developing more hypothetical thoughts than realistic thoughts. go sleep.

4. when you're getting emo. go sleep.

5. when you start thinking you're such a failure. and everything's against you. go sleep.

6. in short, when you think life sucks. go sleep.

there. more reasons/excuses to sleep more=)

life is meant to be enjoyed. and be at peace at the same time.

chocolate is sweet for the moment.

2010-03-17T02:10:00.002+08:00

i like my hair now. not too straight and not too curly.
am waiting for pp to take pics for me to post it up because i really dont feel like camwhoring XD
and erm..
some people still sucked.
and some totally rocked my life.

tired.
not doing anything.
i wanna live by the sea and play the piano all day long.

mixed feelings...
dreamssssssssss.

2010-03-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

glad that i managed to strive past 'death week'=)
i think the only things i screwed up are trial run and 212 midterm (one of my most disastrous midterms ever).
i am to be blamed for most part. sigh.

current mood is actually worst than last week probably because after being so bz and hectic but eventful and 过着充实愉快的生活...the emptiness is settling in. and it's creeping in fast.

and i have the feeling that good times will be up soon. thriving to be content every moment and not being too attached to external possessions.

time to build up the wall again. wall of defense and mental toughness.

time to be independent and face tough and lonely times..alone.

time to fully utilize my prefrontal cortex in defense to my amygdala which is ever-so-active. (amazed that the anti-bio person is speaking bio here)

time to ignore the partpeed. otherwise i'll be in deep shit.

)=

美丽的大海,包含了一切

2010-03-03T01:09:00.002+08:00

preparation for 203 midterms:
1/3 2:30pm start first chapter.
2/3 11:00am finished first chapter.
2/3 3:00pm finished three chapters.
2/3 3:30-4:15pm finished the REMAINING THREE chapters.

i'm impressed with myself. blueh.

totally distracted from essay and preparation for trial run because of this song.

T.T

light. bright. delight.

2010-02-27T23:46:00.002+08:00

weekends are great.
merely getting together and talk abt the same thing over and over again is awesome already.
unlike most of the weekdays where i've been mentally rehearsing what i need to do for 201, 203, 204, 212... and few seconds later it'll be 201, 203, 204, 212 again and again even when i'm in my first stage of sleep just to make sure i didnt leave anything out. obligation cum obsession )= the habit's hard to break.

'death week' awaiting. because
2nd and 4th march midterms.
3rd march trial run. (omg omg omg)
5th march pal tutor and assignment due.

still searching.

Friendship.

2010-02-24T21:45:00.002+08:00

Friendship:

- "Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people, or animals. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis." (Wikipedia, 2010)

- my definition for the past n years: about the same as stated above. i've always delved in friendship with pure and sincere intentions.

-my updated definition: i would like to add another statement to reinforce the definition. without mutual respect, friendship becomes a form of manipulation where the victim will be controlled like a puppet. friendship is at times, beastly.

will still study a bit because i duwan to disappoint those who really care for me.

that's all i wanna say today.

2010-02-21T00:05:00.002+08:00

做人要惜福
还是活在当下吧=)

as expected, i met a lot of pp during cny.
but unexpectedly the excitement and passion of meeting everyone is diminishing.
not because the pp are less awesome
no worries friends, you pp still rock=)
perhaps the perception of impermanence is permeating through my brain holes (not literally of course).
also perhaps it's an excuse to neglect my awaiting....errands.

i'm tired.

and hmm...

february is good. so far.

once again, thank you peeps for adding colors to my life=)

and btw, should i continue to contemplate whether or not to be motivated?

lack of extrinsic motivation? (though it's the intrinsic that counts)

oh, and i'm feeling incompetent almost every friday 12:30 to 2:30pm.

i'm updating=)

THAM YING HUI IS AWESOME!!! XD

2010-02-18T01:25:00.001+08:00

'nuff said=)
can't wait to see vege gang on friday.
and s5 gang on saturday.
and er....
aiya i dunno what to update lah.
bye.

appreciation.

2010-02-10T20:27:00.002+08:00

note: boring post. seriously.

i wandered in the library aimlessly searching for a comp to do my assignment when one of my tutees who's a Korean mum approached me for Stats homework.
so i thought her the basic stuffs and i was utterly shocked that ms W already taught them ANOVA which is supposed to be taught end of the semester. no wonder they couldnt understand what she said. and i felt my burden as a tutor increasing because i'm doubting my ability to prepare them for ms W's lectures.
and the conversation became more informal when i suggested she should teach me Korean language in return and we began talking about Boys Over Flower and Beethoven Virus=) and she also shared with me her hardships she's undergoing as a mother and as a student. i really pity her because she has so many responsibilities in hand and she's always burning the midnight oil to attempt to digest what ms W said in class. and she's not complaining a single bit. which makes me wonder why am i complaining because of *toot toot toot*. (dont ask, people who know, they know)
although i'm only approaching 20 and i shouldnt be comparing with the Korean tutee, but i should start to learn how to bear more responsibilities in the CORRECT manner. "compassion should come with wisdom", as what dad said, but i'm totally not living up to that.
i've learnt in psychology that people who're in the situation (in this case me) tend to make situational attributions by blaming external factors when things are not going the way we want. and i totally agree with that. i know the external factors that i'm having now totally suck....sucks BIG TIME....but i should learn to overcome all these and acquire wisdom from this matter but seriously i dunno what to do.
at times i thought of neglecting all my obligations and responsibilities since it really doesnt matter to me at this point of time (again, those who know, they know). but i'm fully aware that this is just a sign of avoidance, and it's not going to do me any good. the perfectionist self is bugging me to give it all even though i'm not responsible for its consequences at this point of time. i feel stupid.
nevertheless, i'm glad that there're people out there who sincerely care for me and are really concerned whether i'm still breathing normally or not. and even though i'm not being normal i'll still tell them i'm normal because i duwan them to worry for me. (the word breathing is just an analogy) and seriously, i thank you all for that because you guys are seriously awesome but i'm also really sorry that i've been complaining a hell lot these days. and i'm having a bad feeling that i'll break down again next month. as for those *toooooooooot* i dunno what to say but erm, thanks for letting me know that i've been stupid all these while? as people always say, enemy makes us grow up. so i should really bow down to you guys that i'm really experiencing some tough mental grow up?
i feel so much better after typing all these. i'm still surviving. even if i'm not, i'll live up to it.
hwaiting!!

big. huge. enormous. warmth.

2010-02-07T16:52:00.003+08:00

a few of the gang including me went to X's house 3 hours before the housewarming+bday party started... (NOTE: X does not wish to state his/her name here. so even if you really know who X is, please dont blurt it out here tqvm)

and it was totally worth it because...

1. it's a 3-storey bungalow.
2. there's a mini waterfall in which the water flows into the pond with really nice and big japanese koi inside.
3. there's a 'greenhouse' where there're lots of flowers in it. you know smtg like those gardens in Cameron Highlands if you've been there before.
4. her dad has a collection of orchids stored in an air-conditioned room. that's why we said that the flowers are more 幸福 than us.
5. the AV room ceiling has two rows of LED lights where it changes color all the time.
6. once you enter the main door there's this vast space for guests which is very close to the size of a ballroom.
6. (i find this most amazing) there's an ELEVATOR which can fit 3 pp in it. i tried that once=)

and many more...

so we took advantage of the karaoke and sang for a few hours. and it's good to be with them again although recently we've been meeting each other quite often eh hahaha...

and i finally cut my hair. my head is so much lighter now. phew.

and i baked cookies for cny.

and i'll be out soon to celebrate kak's bday with the same gang again.

which means i've been neglecting my assignments once again and seriously, i dont feel guilty yet.

life is about enjoying, and i totally agree with that=)

noob.

2010-02-06T02:22:00.002+08:00

had my very first tutorial today as a tutor. tutees are juniors who're taking Quantitative Methods (Stats) this sem.
firstly i showed a very bad example to them by being late for half an hour. i have my reasons )=
and my impatience caused my car to langgar divider for the umpteenth time.
as for the tutoring part, i think i did horribly.
lotssss of room for improvement!><

had to choose btwn 3 events to attend at night.
1. cousin's wedding dinner.
2. help's charity concert and auction.
3. yumcha with jiayi and gang.

i decided to be a good girl and attended 1. in the end, the first dish was only served at 9pm and i forgot i couldnt eat a lot of things because of my piercing. (note: yes dudes, i went to pierce my ears for the very first time.) now you see why i'm so indecisive huh....because every decision that i make is a mistake>< turned out that 2 and 3 were so much more entertaining. and xj if you see this, i'm still very glad for you hahaha...

and life at uni? hmm...

rant.

2010-01-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

it's perfectly reasonable to express my desire of quitting help just because of the parking.
they can't just clamp the cars because there's absolutely not enough for us.
i waited at main block for 30 mins today.
then laiwei and i decided to go around the area to look for parking.
so paid 3 bucks without even parking.
and we went to pusatbandardamansara, menara millenium, metro tower, hostel etc. etc.
and we decided to go back to main block again to wait><
the whole process of finding parking took an effing 1.5 hours.
damn shit.

this is one of my many other rants. thank you.

first day of psy201. and more.

2010-01-21T14:44:00.002+08:00

psy201 lecturer came in for the first lesson at 2:10. and the first thing she said... (before she even greet the class)

lecturer: class, i want u to take out a piece of A4 paper, cut into four's. and we'll have a quiz now.

class: shit shit shit.

and the quiz was about stuffs that we learnt one year ago><
and apparently there's supposed to be FOURTEEN quizzes this semester o.O

after explaining her very strict requirements for the assignments
and after lecturing on factorial design which put the class into a deep state of confusion...

lecturer: okay we'll have another quiz now on factorial design.

class: ................

and expectedly i found most of my answers wrong when she discussed it...
i really hope i could pass this subject ><"

***

the following day i was rushing from wisma help to kpd bcoz i was already 5 mins late for the next class.
and guess what, i met the Dean in the lift, and he's the lecturer of the class i'm rushing to.

me: Hi Dr. XXX...
Dean: going for class?
me: Yes, to your class. *super embarassed*
Dean: ohhh...*smiles*

and he started asking me about the subjects i'm taking, where am i transferring to blah blah blah.
and along the way, passer-bys were wondering why a student was chatting with the Dean...

***

i'm working on 7 assignments concurrently. yeay.
year 2 is seriously a big leap from year 1.
and i'm feeling stupid because i used to complain how hard year 1 was.
sigh.

i'm back because i see flies everywhere.

2010-01-16T01:34:00.002+08:00

those who have not seen my taiwan pics pls go to fb=)
class started.
year 2 is seriously a big leap from year 1.

this sem's subjects:
psy201 advanced research methodology
psy203 child development
psy204 adolescent and adult development
psy212 educational psychology (this is an elective)

psy201 and 204 have colloquium>< means there's group presentation at the auditorium with possibly hundreds of students and evil lecturers asking you super difficult questions. yeay.

and this is most probably my last sem in help. UCAS if you see this pls accept ALL my applications!!!!

and last sem's results:
psy112 introduction to psychology 2. B+
within my expectation.
lls101 leadership and life skills. A-
was actually hoping for an A but oh well..A- is good enough i suppose...
mch202 public speaking. A-
i tot from his way of conspiring against me, i would get a B. so i'm happy with this=)
eco101 principles of microeconomics. A-
commendable.

annica = impermanence
dukha = suffering
anata = non-self

can't wait for cny=)

I AM BACK XD.

2010-01-03T20:50:00.001+08:00

taiwan's awesome!!!!!!!!!!

and....

i couldnt elaborate more coz i woke up at 4am today.

so till we meet again =)

i'm back! for a while.

2009-12-27T22:59:00.002+08:00

back from meditation retreat. feedback: beyond awesome=)

haven packed for taiwan. cham lo.

all the best=p

i'll be away.

2009-12-23T22:34:00.002+08:00

when? 24th december 8pm
till when? 27th december 6pm
what? meditation retreat. congratulate me for meditating on christmas eve and christmas. and i had to sleep at 10:30 and wake up at FIVE AM )= and i'm not supposed to eat after 12pm. (which means starving from 12pm till 7am><)
contact mode: sms and miss calls.

there's another one.

when? 28th december 2:30pm
till when? 3rd january 1pm
what? trip to Taiwan!!=) will be going to Taipei and Taichung. i hope i'll get to see a few celebs there!!
contact mode: i might go online if i have the time.

that's all.
merry christmas and happy new year to everybody in advance!!
don't miss me too much yea ^^

done.

2009-12-17T01:27:00.000+08:00

finals. effing tough. but done.
1st year degree. done.
time to sleep zzz...

This post is dedicated to Amanda Leong Lai Yee=)

2009-12-06T15:38:00.002+08:00

well whenever one has to write a dedication post, he or she will post pictures of that person to revive old sweet memories.

but,

......

.....

....

...

..

.

no pictures. haha.
bcoz all pics are used to be taken by amanda. hahaha.
not the lazy me. hahahaha.
yes i'm embarassed. hahahahaha.

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!!!=p
we missss youuu!!
sarang heyo!!!
why u not coming back yet! (dont ask me to go and see you bluehhh)

<3

approaching to infinity.

2009-12-03T01:29:00.002+08:00

i've just completed my last assignment today, possibly my last assignment in help if i decided to quit next sem.
and today's my mum's birthday, happy birthday mummy!! had dinner at Santini and probably would go to Red Box tmrw....
and friday i'm supposed to go to KL, Sunway and Subang to apply for uni. sigh, troublesome.
so i have approximately two more weeks to chill, meet up with buddies and ROT before my finals on 15th and 16th, and sigh again, as opportunity cost of having finals is... sigh, you know the reason.
okay i'm tired now. i want to meet up with everyone i miss!!!=p

好久不见

2009-11-24T22:46:00.001+08:00

真的好久不见~~

what a day.

2009-11-21T01:06:00.002+08:00

today (20/11) was my father's birthday.
happy birthday dad!!
well i had to give credits my sister (you must be overjoyed to see this) for stressing herself up to plan awesome stuffs for our dad.
firstly we had this awesome lunch at the most awesome japanese restaurant and the awesome sashimi was simply...awesome. except that i didnt have the time to munch it slowly because while having my sashimi, i had a laptop on my lap for me to rush on my assignments><
we also had awesome dinner at a chinese restaurant. awesome food includes peking duck, shark fin soup (the real one), SNAIL meat, loh bak gou and prawn noodles=)
tomorrow would be awesome lunch again, the main dish being sis's signature pan mee (refer to previous posts for further information on how awesome her pan mee was).
also bought movie tickets for PREMIER hall at the Gardens to watch 2012. it could be awesome or dreadful.

speaking of assignment, i had a race against time today. and it was so 'chi gek'!!

3:30am : went to bed. only completed 40% of the assignment.
8:30am : woke up. i was supposed to wake up at 8 so damn shit, i still have a lot to do.
12:30pm : completed 70%. had to stop and bathe since i did not wash my hair yesterday.
1:00pm : left house to jap restaurant. intended to complete it in the car but unsuccessful as i felt like puking. (you know 'car sick')
1:30-2:30pm : enjoying sashimi while completing assignment. so not fun.
3:45pm : aunt drove and she took the wrong way so i reached home late. completed 90% but DUE TIME WAS 5PM OMG.
4:05pm: FINISHED! (of course the quality wasnt up to my standard, but oh well...)
4:15pm: finally managed to print the 20 pages long of assignment and i was cursing silently as the plagiarism website kept lagging.
4:20pm to 4:40pm: journey to college had never felt so long before. thought i couldn't make it on time because the jam was looming. but it's a group assignment, and we had 7 of us, and it was worth 30% of our finals, so i couldn't miss the deadline!!!
4:50pm: parked and rushed eight floors up and *poop*, in went the assignment into assignment submission box. phew! 10 minutes before due!

wow why m i writing so much crap. anyway conclusion is, i won the race but this just shows that my procrastination is getting serious day by day )=

and just now carmen called me and said Mr. Franklin(lecturer) posted an announcement that i got full marks for my Personal Development Assignment. honestly my feeling was unbelievable actually, more than overjoyed because the purpose of that assignment was to change our behaviours, which i obviously didn't. nevertheless, i think i got that high because knowing this lecturer for 11 months, i kinda figured out what he's expecting larh.

awww it's late. i just had my cough syrup which would make me very very drowsy. and so i shall sleep now, as i have colloquium to attend tmrw morning )=

life should be as interesting as today.

学习

2009-11-19T00:07:00.002+08:00

以前很拼命,因为班上的同学太厉害,所以觉得分数不能这么难看,但从中也激发了我去学习很多很多...
现在的我也很拼命,但拼错了,拼的目标是为了能在凌晨三点钟赶完功课,而不是五点半,最后也得到还不错的成绩,但是身体状况不尽理想,连咳嗽都咳上了整个月...

今天,
了解到就算成功,如果得到成功的过程不对,也是一种失败...
了解到自己必须突破自己的眶眶...
了解到不要自以为高高在上,很用功,很有能力,就可以看不起别人.他们之所以会得到真正的成功,是因为他们拥有我所没有的...

累了...孤僻...自命清高...陷入深渊...走不出来...

[注:此篇纯属废话,不要想太多...]

black Monday.

2009-11-17T00:27:00.002+08:00

*NOTE: author's negative energy on the rise. so you shouldnt be reading this, seriously.

Dear diary,

Yesterday(it's past 12am) was quite a bad day.

Firstly I was feeling the urgency to complete my group project but my brain wasnt spinning efficiently.

Secondly I was dejected when I got 18.5/25 for my commemorative speech. (keeps reminding myself: Shien Yin, complaining doesnt really solve the problem) but it rather amused me that for the 'main ideas easily followed' criteria, I scored an average because my speech was usually very structured and comprehensive. and shockingly for the 'physical actions effectively used' criteria I scored an EXCELLENT when i practically stood there doing nothing throughout the speech. hmm...... speech finals this wednesday and I really dunno what to improve on to win the lecturer's heart. it's true that sometimes life's unfair, and so I'll just accept it and do my best, because *self hypnotizing* marks doesnt really count rite? worst case scenario is just you couldnt get to the UK uni's that you wanted so badly because u fail to get an A for public speaking. SO WHAT?!

But oh dear diary, the day didn't end like that!! it's about the physically disabled girl, again. I know many of my friends have been through this a lot more than me, but taking care of the disabled girl for a mere few hours was getting into my nerves already.
Moral textbooks have been teaching us to be kind and helpful to the disabled, but they never taught us how to handle disabled people who are DOUBLE-FACED. Isn't it nerve-wrecking when every 10 seconds, she'll get into fits of pain and she'll start sliding off from the wheel chair and for 4 hours continuously, this guy in my group had to pull her back up and my friend and i had to shift her legs back to her normal position. and she'd just scream in the library asking for help without telling us how to help her. and seriously, if her condition was THAT serious, I wouldn't complain a single effing thing and just help her unconditionally.
BUT SHE'S NOT LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. she could be so serious in front of us, but when meeting some other people and during class, she was actually quite normal. girl, what are you trying to do man??

many other things happened during that four hours, which were so sickening that I dont even bother to elaborate here, until I sorta insulted her PUBLICLY. my friend and I were going to have class soon, so we actually took half an hour to sought for the next 'victim' that could help her out. and fortunately a female student approached her and offered to help. so we told her to keep an eye on her and pull her back up whenever she slides off the wheelchair. and in the end...

Me: (talking to the female student) Good luck. (in taking care of her)--i didnt say this out
Disabled girl: (offended) Are you saying good luck to her? Because of me?!
Me: Was I even talking about you? Don't think too much okay.
Disabled girl: (silence)

and then I walked off. and I'm NOT feeling sorry about that.
someone who happens to have such experiences/encounters, please do enlighten me on this issue.
of course if u've managed to read till this far haha.

i'm sorry dear diary for relasing my negative energy once again.

love (with much anger but am calming down now),
melodyorange

Blue Tomorrow

2009-11-08T16:40:00.002+08:00

Today will be blue till tomorrow.
i wonder why m i blogging now when i'm still at the second sentence of my essay, due tmrw:D
and if i stay up late tonight, how m i supposed to tahan tmrw's class from 8 till 6?
ohh, so blue.
(but my fav colour is still green lah)

and stupid phlegm still stuck at the bottom of my throat. it refuses to come up to my mouth for me to spit it out>< well in other words it's sore throat lah.

and a song to make things blue-er.

great singing Kyuhyun^^

T.T

2009-11-07T14:16:00.002+08:00

already half dead after i'm done with PDA, one of the most dreadful assignments I've ever had.
public speaking workshop review and econs essay due this monday. haven started T.T

and what makes me more T.T is...(refer to msn conversation below)

J.hui says:
hmm managed to not leave any blank spaces
guess thats an achievement
hey..really cant make it for pangkor?

{Melody} says:
u just reminded me to check my final exam timetable

J.hui says:
go go go go

{Melody} says:
*&^(&$)@&$_@(*$&@)($&@)*(
exam on 15th and 16th!!!!
ta ma de!!!

J.hui says:
chillchillchilll

{Melody} says:
one week of exams why must kena that two days????

J.hui says:
T.T
haih
nvm la

{Melody} says:
i'll ask ah boon to change the date hahahahah

J.hui says:
there'll be plenty next time
waaaaa
hahahaaaa
you can try~

{Melody} says:
gahhhhhhh i'm gonna cry T>T

J.hui says:
chill la
gives you more reason to do well in exam
baru worth it ma

{Melody} says:
haih.........
don think i'll hv change to go for the next trip
*chance
since i'll be at uk nxt yr...dunno coming back or not

J.hui says:
hmmm
next time we skype u
ahaha

{Melody} says:
bluehhhh
i'll think of a way to go man

J.hui says:
earn pounds over there la
then no worries
ahaha

{Melody} says:
hahaa
u might as well sponsor me la XD

J.hui says:
no prob..............in ur mimpi =)

*****
YES. SAYA TAK BOLEH PERGI. WTF.
I'LL SCREW MY PSYCH DEPT UNTIL THEY LET ME CHANGE MY EXAM DATE.
OR I'LL STOP S5 PP FROM COMING BACK SO THAT THEY'LL EXTEND THE PANGKOR TRIP FOR A FEW MORE DAYS...
I'LL DO WTVR I CAN MAN.

hahahhaa maybe i over-reacted a lil.
but considering my situation atm, i think it's quite normal to be so depressed about it.
so...bye. i'll bang the wall now.
someone pls tell me i'm dreaming now.

gone.

2009-11-03T00:42:00.002+08:00

went with xiao chin and shi ning to Neway karaoke at 1u yesterday. thought i'll be back by 4 coz i've not started preparing my speech due today. in the end, we just had so much fun and we sang till 5:30>< 3 pp sang 3.5 hours of k was damn syok but my voice kinda cracked a lil. and shi ning said my driving 很恐怖==" (mana ada?!!) anyway we had fun fun fun fun and fun and we should really hang out again in the near future! ying hui, you must come okay!! btw, neway sucks coz it's freaking expensive><

speaking of commemorative speech, it's just... *dot dot dot*

due dates of assignments for the month of november ONLY (to remind myself to stop slacking):
2nd nov- commemorative speech (done)
6th nov- personal development assignment (progress: 10%)
9th nov- microecons essay (progress: ZERO)
11th nov- developmental psych journal (progress: ZERO AGAIN)
18th nov-persuasive speech (progress: ZERO X3)
20th nov- group project (progress: 10%)
30th nov- econs finals (can die)

the motto remains: psych students are psycho^^

oh on a lighter note, my sister emerged CHAMPION for her school's cooking competition!!!!
hoooray!!! *claps*
and who should she thank? ME. bcoz i gave her the idea of cooking pan mee. so unique than the ordinary spagetthi and fried rice hor.
she won herself a Swiss-made knive set worth 100 over bucks *gasp* , hampers and a plastic folder.
well done sue!^^

空洞.
情绪都跑到哪去了?
I guess the only mood that exists in my dictionary atm is moody. haha.
要找回那一份感动和纯真.
别跟那些人一般见识.
试着让自己更成熟,纪律,开朗些.
生活要有目标,才能往前走.
要活出自信,活出自己,活出精彩人生.
加油.

废话连篇! =)

Sand Painting

2009-10-30T00:14:00.001+08:00

NOT composed by jay, it's composed by the new girl cindy...
sounded weird the first time i heard it, but kinda like it now =)

i need a formal apology dude.
pissed.

old times.

2009-10-26T00:03:00.002+08:00

after getting used to swim at True Fitness, swimming at Bukit Jalil is quite horrible as the water there is freaking dirty... countless amount of black particles suspending in the water...

anyway attended a fund-raising dinner by Lion Club at SRJK(C) Yuk Chai. yeah, my primary school^^ and what a transformation!! besides that sky scraper which is the product of my dad's huge donation to the school when i was studying there (but didnt get to use it), they built this Zen-styled garden with two fish ponds with several Japanese Koi fish in it><... apparently one of the parents sponsored this garden that cost NINETY-THOUSAND RINGGIT... and even volunteered to maintain it from time to time...><

had a short chat with the principal hahaha...he still remembers my dad...and we got lucky for lucky draw...kena FOUR prizes out of the 10 numbers we got muahahaha...

class tomorrow 8-10, 12-2, 2-4 and 4:30-6
gila....
that's why i have to go now.
bye bye.

i want kickboxing=="

2009-10-23T22:57:00.004+08:00

Inglorious Bastards...
awesome movie!=)

and i should be happy that i got 60/70 for social psychology midterm.
but TWENTY-NINE people got higher marks than me. damn it!!!><
although there are a total of 170 students.
which makes me the top...*takes out handphone calculator*... 17.65% in class...only.
and i might not be able to get an A- if i flunk my quizzes...
(okay i dunno why i'm so crazy about this)

and someone's coming to Malaysia this Sunday!!!
yes it's him!!^^

Lee Min Ho! <3
i wan go i wan go i wan go...

i guess i should start my assignment now. byez.
and i'm tired and restless )=

kimheechul!<3

2009-10-18T23:05:00.002+08:00

hey guys! yes i'm still here... currently at taman megah oldtown white coffee with my family, at 11:27pm, enjoying unealthy supper as usual...
i shall not make any excuses for my long absence. (or maybe some of you will understand why if u know what my title means=p)

homeworks done recently:
1. informative speech. i talked about phobia. lecturer's comment: best attention grabber we had in the class=p
because i used this hehe...

will get to know my marks this wednesday, hope it's a good one. 25% wei! no joke.

2. midterms. only had social psychology midterm this time. nearly couldnt finish o.O but the subject itself is fun, lecturer more fun, coz he likes to crack jokes, including the dirty ones=)

3. social psychology movie review. entitled 'Remember the Titans'. must watch!! of course the process of completing my movie review was delayed A LOT because of... (refer to title of post, again, if u know what it means)

homeworks yet to be done, and still slacking:
1. ALL Leadership and Life Skills assignments. from Personal Development Assignment (PDA) to Group Project. i blame the lecturer and the nature of the subject. and my procrastination. the name of the subject sounds fun but maybe not so when... (not going to say too much here to protect myself hehe...) but at least i'll be interviewing with my group members this coming tuesday, and i'm kinda nervous about it. haven tried interviewing a GM during office hours><

2. Principles of Microeconomics. although classes had just started last week, the boredom of that class is already overwhelming 5 minutes after i first stepped into that lecturer hall. my pre-u lecturer is so much more interesting than this one. i wonder how i'm gonna complete the 30% worth assignment due two weeks later.

anyway, congrats to myself if i've managed to bore you this far.
reason for posting so much crap? to prove that psychology is generally, VERY FUN=) even those not-so-interesting ones aren't really psychology-related subjects.
point of saying this? to warn parents that they should let their children to study what they like, not what the parents themselves like.
point of saying what i said just now? dunno leh. hehe.
point of saying dunno? aiya shut up!!

maybe i shouldnt be updating my blog since my nerves are not working very well recently.

till we meet again. and hwaiting!!=)

2009-09-30T11:33:00.001+08:00

strange. so strange. )=

running low.

2009-09-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

Happy Belated Birthday to myself!! XD
you can shoot me for not uploading the pics of my presents.
anyway thankss to all who gave me presents, who've wished and who've forgotten (it's okay really).
nineteen's not much of a significant difference to me yet, maybe i should learn to be a wild girl *winks* to celebrate my last year as a teenager and the year before i go overseas.

oh talking about overseas.
y m i not in uk now??!
inner voice: it's time to be independent now dude. u should be changing already?! LESS food, sleep, youtube(particularly Suju's) and MORE exercise, diligence, flexibility, courage, confidence, determination, passion etc. etc.

if i have 5 bars of energy level,
i would rate myself a 1 now.
pathetic.

till we meet again. demotivated bum)=

buddies.

2009-09-25T01:12:00.002+08:00

gathering with s5 buddies (yes, again) at secret recipe+snow flakes. initially it was juz jiehui who wanted to go yumcha with me but it coincidentally met up with yee ern's farewell, so turned out to be a whole big bunch of pp attending=)
anyway the main attraction at secret recipe was none other than the AWESOME experience that zhenxiang had=p he was drinking some chocolate drink halfway and he tot he was chewing on chocolate chips(rite?) and then he found out that it was actually a COCKROACH!!! ewwwwww i'm so not going to secret recipe again in the near future...
then some of us who wanted to hv some peace decided to leave midvalley and proceed to snowflakes=p the tong shui was awesome and yeahhh u guys are awesome tooooo=) (gosh i'm infecting carmen's 'awesome' disease)
oh n i would like to take the opportunity thank the yengest female friend i've ever met aka Jie Hui=)thanks for the friendship and everything and you're always our tough and demure kak^^ but juz dont get yourself too stressed up yea XD
also had lunch at kim gary today for the first time with shuwen. niceee!
oh and today's lls class was funny (just a bit). we were playing this icebreaking game called Chinese Whisper. you're supposed to put the same msg across to 10 individuals, one-by-one so the last person should be able to convey the same msg as the first person.
so the original sentence was: Mr. Franklin(our lecturer) was an example of a great leader. he looks great in a green top and purple bottom.
and surprisingly, it turned out to be: Seremban's char siew pau is awesome!
LMAO.
"what a classic example of miscommunication," Mr. Franklin.

ok that's all for now.
so tired zzz.
oh n i'm still fat. sigh.

reminder: check out UK uni's. register for IELTS. stay positive and happy and healthy always=)

switch.

2009-09-20T02:21:00.003+08:00

change of template.
i think it's simpler than the previous.
but it's green, my fav colour,
so i dont freaking care.
except that i don really like the 'overgreen' on the both sides.

am thinking of privatizing my blog (haha not imitating chee yuen's k)
no, not that reason.
there isnt any enemies reading my blog. ohh i dont really have an enemy anyway, isnt that great?=)
and there's ntg really secretive that i do not wish to reveal to strangers.
it's just that i wanted to have a more in-depth content in my blog, not those surface kind of recording routine events like a diary.
yes i'm just uncomfortable to express my oh-so-boring insights to too many pp.
i need some personal space.

ohhh n i'm still in a dilemma on which UK uni i should go to. crap. i dont even know how to find out which is better, except visiting the country itself=)

it has been long. very long...still having hopes.

-2:30am-

Where Got Ghost? =)

2009-09-18T00:54:00.000+08:00

first time laughing so hard when the ghost appears lol.
might not be one of Jack Neo's best films,
but still good to watch.
coz it's horror+comedy =p

ohhh i really hate you wisma help parking.
exceeded 15 mins after paying and u charged another 3 bucks??
)=

shit. i'm getting more energetic during midnight. dont like that.
and Federer lost. dont like that too.
and Suju rocks=p this i like=)

-12:58am-

nth stomach ache incident.

2009-09-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

some pp might know that i used to have this yearly stomach ache incident, mostly due to food poisoning.
well the cycle sorta stopped for the past two years but now it's back again)=
no vomitting this time but it's still quite torturing.
the pain is periodic...it comes every 10-15 mins.. (sounds like a pregnant woman on delivery=p)
which lasted for more than a day...hence couldnt really sleep well last night..
anyway went to the doc..diagnosed with intestine infection(ntg big, just some kind of food poisoning)...currently on antibiotics..
hope i'll get well soon lah. assignments and tests are coming already.
and no, i didnt eat too much. i'm not such a big eater lah=p

oh btw, another funny story about my maid.
mom asked her to boil two eggs today.
found out that she boiled those eggs in a SAUCEPAN.
and the water only covering half of the eggs.
and she turned on MAXIMUM FIRE.
which of course, the water evaporated quite instantaneously.
and she claimed that she has always been doing that back in Indonesia.
hmm...

time to study and get a good rest. byeeee=)

-10:58pm-

hello.

2009-09-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

blurring through 2nd week of classes,
already had few sleep-deprived nights + nightmares.
hmmm, not good not good.
kinda screwed up for intro speech today.
mainly because i paused for like 5 seconds, but luckily i managed to go on.

and btw, important lesson learnt today.
DONT PARK AT WISMA HELP AT ALL COST!!!!!
although it's quite impossible now...
damn big crowd at help, blame the new intake dudes hmph (except Janez and Siau Voon lah=p)
anyway back to topic,
HOW is it possible that, i've only parked there for 3 hours plus
and they charged me a freaking 12 BUCKS )=
plus i went back home during the long break
so when i went back to park at main block, i needed to chip in another 3 bucks...
which means,
i spent a total of 15 bucks just for parking fee=="
oh, i just love HELP.
luckily lunch was free=)

oh btw, if u've not already knew,
i got distinction for my erhu exam=p
k la i know only grade 3, but still,
the examiner was strict ok (teacher said so)
so i should be happy rite???
*clap clap clap*
ehhh clap lah sikit...=p

that's all for now bye. so tired.

p.s. current music addiction: Suju's Sorry Sorry (Amanda: heheheheheh) and 徐佳莹's 身骑白马=) oso watching videos about Joe Cheng.

-11:58pm-

events.

2009-09-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

thousand apologies to my dear bloggie for abandoning you )=

important events that happened since my last post:

1. 16th aug: gathering with the girls. also to bid farewell to Amanda and Jamie who are going (actually already went) to the US. nicee to see that 10 pp turned up and half of us managed to stay for more than 12 hours=p. activities included baking a highly unsuccessful choc cake(partly my fault T.T), camwhoring, gaming and makan-ing.

2. 20th aug: my grade 3 erhu exam. only lasted for five minutes. but still, quite a hell. wasnt really nervous but my palms kept sweating like mad. and when my palm gets sweaty, i cant 滑音 properly, hence all the 走音. even the examiner from China told me i could play better if i was more stable T.T

3. 22nd-23rd aug: 30 hours famine=) yes, it was a miracle that yours truly who doesnt normally starve more for than 6 hours, was able to fast for 32 hours!! *claps* but super HEADACHE LAH. esp during the last six hours in bkt jalil, i tot i could faint! kinda fun but me thinks it's too commercialized, so might not join again next year.

4. 30th aug: went on a spontaneous trip with family to Teluk Intan. all i got was a very bloated stomach. imagine having scrumptious steamboat buffet, bak kut teh, hokkien mee, wat tan ho, ice kacang and satay within 3 hours^^ cant blame us! as above mentioned food are ALL part of the FAMILY business. yes, i'm so proud to have such relatives who are so into the food business, and it's very famous in the town i tell ya! besides, also had chee cheong fun for supper. i wonder how many calories i need to burn now><

5. 2nd sept: last sem of year 1 officially starts TOMORROW. gotta say hi to >10 assignments again. am taking intro to psychology 2, leadership and life skills, public speaking and either maths or microecons this sem. this time, i'm only allowing myself to obtain B+ and above. no less than that!! oh btw, i'm driving to college now! happy? (friends: wah FINALLY=p)

rest of the time are spent on completing my internship, watching drama (just finished Boys Over Flower=p), TONNES of sleeping and BIGGER TONNES of eating. help!! who wants to go for gym and swimming with me??

till we meet again. and i'm still frustrated)=

-9:51pm-

yo.

2009-08-12T15:31:00.000+08:00

long time didnt update.
not like i have anything interesting to say here.
most of my time during hols is spent on:

1. interning. don feel like elaborating it now.
2. watching drama. most of the nights are spent watching a total of 50 episodes of It Started With A Kiss and They Kiss Again=) i know i'm so OUT. but it's really a nice show and i totally heart zhi shu ^^
3. practising my er hu. exam's next week ><. chance of getting a pass is not very high. because it's so UNFAIR! most probably they'll only listen to first half of my songs due to time constrain and pathetically, i always suck in the beginning==...
4. hanging out with friends. well, not always. hope to have more in the coming 2 weeks... let's hope that my mum's being kind on this matter.
5. more sleeping. more eating(during the weekend). and more playing(always). i mean, who doesnt?

new sem gonna start soon.
tak mau!

i better get back to work now...

-3:40 pm-

too many.

2009-08-03T00:40:00.000+08:00

i have a lot of things to say.
but i'm having word block here.
or maybe i refuse to say it out.
or i didnt want to say it out here.

life is weird, seriously.
but i'm pretty fine now, i guess.
i hope others are fine, too.

still getting used to the working life.
i miss studying, weird kan?

tired.

-12:43 am-

another driving experience.

2009-07-29T12:12:00.000+08:00

talked to my cousin last night that tomorrow i will drive my myvi to college with him beside me.
mana tau he changed his mind this morning and wanted me to drive his HONDA CIVIC.
can dieee! (oh luckily i didnt=p)
turned out better than i expected but he kept asking me to press oil so that i wont leave such a big gap with the car in front...
ehhh if i drive fast fast cannot control de ok!
but anyhow it's a good experience indeed.

anyway i sneaked out from my workplace a while.
so i gtg now.
tata!

-12:19pm-

colors of the wind

2009-07-24T13:42:00.000+08:00

Colours of the Wind duet-- starring Jing Lynn as the flower and her friend Violet as teddy bear.
cuteeeeeeeeee=p

Steamboat. and more.

2009-07-24T11:54:00.000+08:00

intern is fine, so far.

supposed to finish modifying the tedious-but-fun numerical aptitude test by today.

but since i was out the whole yesterday, i've decided to stay at home and WORK. if that's possible with the presence of fb, blog, plurk etc. =)

anyway, gonna upload some pics...

first is...

breathtaking view of KL from Hulu Langat Lookout Point. better if it's more windy and less mosquitoes.

at lookout point with family, aunt, cousin and several BUBS members.

next up...

awesome Ryan Chin!!=p feeling satisfied after playing ah yee's grand piano^^... he'll be back to Melbourne next Friday...noooo!

and thirdly,

sunway ECHO 2008 reunion!!=p

9 of us had dinner at Bee Ho Steamboat, SS15.

and McD after that :D

loads of crappy chattings,

but too bad pp like Terence who's suppose to crack lame jokes and belanja us Starbucks couldnt come. Shoot you for that! ><

pics will be uploaded on fb by proud-DSLR-owners =p (you know who you are)

sweet that two of them got us presents!

mini jar with my favourite Fruit Plus sweets in it. from Su-Lyn. my name's inscribed on that jar so mum and sis i'm so sorry but you cant have it muahahahaha

and letter from US! whoa Sean belum pergi sana tapi sudah hantar kita surat==

it's a photo-cum-postcard! or so it appears to me=p... touching message from Sean...and due to technical reasons the photo went missing while blogging and i lazy to upload again...so yea=p

oh btw, congrats to Roger Federer for becoming parents of two girls! it's a twin!=p... i bet they'll be proud of their father a lot^^

and yea, that's all for now.

gotta drill myself with the workssss.

ECHO rocks!

-1:23 pm-

fog.

2009-07-21T00:47:00.000+08:00

gonna see Dr. Mustafa for intern interview in college tomorrow, or today, since it's past 12.
research assistant in psychological testing.
sounds fun.
let's hope there's no more QUITTING here.
gahh this word is bugging me.
or better said, everyone's bugging me on this.
halo, doesnt mean i don work for one or two days that i become rotten okay.
and i'm not a person who gives up easily, to be honest.

and btw, i cut my hair.
3 inches down the floor!!

ohh and did i mention how cute Ryan is?
not Ryan Seacrest, or Giggs....but Ryan Chin, my 2 1/2-year-old nephew.
the way he calls me 'ah yee', hugs and kisses me totally boosts my happiness level to the max!
funny conversations include:

cousin (ryan's mum) : where does dad dad come from?
ryan: Singapore. (which is true)
cousin: where does po po come from?
ryan: Brunei. (HAHAHAHA since when)
we: it's not brunei!
ryan: Bhuttan....
ryan: Laos??

goshh he must be learning too many countries haha.
and besides, he's also very caring and responsible.
like for example i left the crowd for a while to shop in f.o.s.,
and he couldnt find me
so he went to the security guard and asked 'where's ah yee?'
awwwww. =)
you're da best Ryan!!

and btw, Plurk sometimes can be quite distracting.
in MANY ways.
dont ask why plurkers=)
it's very true when Jit said there's so many more important things in life to care about...
so i shall focus on the present and find more beneficial things to do to kill time...
even if that implies avoiding from problems.
but yeah, whatever.
i just want to be calm and happy.

when you're at peace with yourself, all other things will fall into place.

-1:03am-

i quit.

2009-07-18T01:40:00.000+08:00

yeah sounds like a loser.
for those who are not updated,
yes i ended my pathetic job after only 1 week.
well not that pathetic...
just....not my type. if you get what i mean.
i mean, if u know me enough, u should know that i'm not the marketing kind of person.
i don heck care whether pp wants to buy my product or not...coz even myself thinks that it's not convincing...
but i've been quite an okay telemarketeer...
esp today the last day when dunno why i managed to get a shocking EIGHT appointments :D:D:D
it's like....yesterday's amount times 4!!
even the supervisor is surprised=p
but anyway....i've withdrawn.
regret or not...time will decide for me.

now's time to find a new job.
or else mom will scold me like mad if i waste time at home.
so it's research assistant?
primary school teacher?
or tuition teacher?
or all??
dilemma sangat )=

and i really miss all friends again, as usual.
i know la!! i'm still practising driving to meet up with you guys k...
although i knocked the gate today while reversing from my car porch><
forgive me!!

you are okay and they are okay
your okayness doesnt depend on theirs
so stay independent, calm and collected
life's still okay as long as the sky doesnt fall upon you

-1:50am-

conscience vs challenge

2009-07-15T15:13:00.000+08:00

duality is unescapable.
last week was interesting, but this week was heck of a...shit.
have not finalized decisions yet.

there's a voice telling me that: Shien Yin, you should freaking hell stop this. don't bother living up to other pp's expectations. who cares what other pp thinks about you? you are independent enough to decide how u want to live you life. you are not born to obey, you are born to think, and be happy. and more importantly, you're bound to get sick, physically and mentally,if u keep stressing yourself like that.

the opposite side tells me that: there's so much to learn in the working world, whether u like your job or not. the important thing is to stretch to your maximum potential, getting out of the comfort zone. life challenges makes you matured. so just treat marketing as a job to learn to deal with people, which could be applicable to your future psychology-related job in many ways.

gahh sounds like i have bipolar personality><
anyway that's the problem.
solutions?
family and friends have given me many... and loads of encouragement, sound advise and support too... thanks for that!!
but maybe this is the time i should learn to make decisions by myself, even if i will regret after making it. how could life be successful when there are no regrets??
anyway i've emailed college staffs to ask for advise...
will see how it goes.

may i be blessed with good health and happiness. and may i gain the strength to make wise decisions.

-4:57 pm-

time

2009-07-13T01:36:00.000+08:00

very often, too much time is spent on:

-looking good, physically
-appearing good, mentally. in other words, trying to appear tough when so often that our hearts are extremely breakable
-worrying what other people are thinking about us
-formulating strategies to handle the situation SHOULD someone happen to think negatively about us, which very often does NOT happen
-day-dreaming about things of the least priority while you are doing things which are supposed to be of utmost priority
-trying to achieve something but often not knowing what are your tangible and realistic goals
-going into a dilemma obssesively because ironically, we enjoy immersing ourselves into the bottomless pit rather than leading a dull life
-worrying about the far, far future when we're not even done with our near, near responsibilities
-trying very hard to be popular. or at least, being likeable and sociable. or at the very least, not being hated by too many people.
-and of course, emo-ing over various things from A to Z. which i think many of us are very capable of.

the list goes on...

nevertheless,
our species are stubborn.
we know what's right and wrong but the main reasons why so many wrongs are done is probably due to:
-we are trying too hard to be right. we try so hard to walk the right path that we forgot to see the bigger picture. we thought that success=right path but actually success=right path + wrong path=EXPERIENCE=one of life's unescapable process/cycle
-and sometimes, we might fall into a trap where we dunno we're right or not, even tough people thinks that we're right. in short, we're so blurred by the way we live that we begin to question our life principles, our morales, our goals... me thinks it's a little more than identity crisis=)
-there might be people who think that, life's just not life if we did not take the risk to do some wrongs. but this optimism might just be an alternative path to deviance. and avoidance of obstacles. one day we should just sit down and ask ourselves: what am i doing? am i solving problems(by simply looking at it in a different perspective), or am i creating more problems??

anyhow,
真真假假
many pp spent their whole life identifying what's right and what's wrong.
but what do we get in the end?
think that the process matters more than the conclusion?
think again.
are we leading a fruitful life in the process of constant searching and identifying?

ultimately.
life is about making choices and decisions.
overall,
there is a one-third probablity to live in innocence.
a one-third probability to live in ignorance.
and a one-third probability to live in the truth. although truth promotes mindfulness, if not handled with care, truth brings a lot of suffering and sacrifice than we can ever imagine.

so can we really choose what and how we want to live?
are the negative external factors overwhelming enough to conquer our internal strength?

when is the day that we begin to look into ourselves deeply, and then gradually reaching to our social circle, the community, the world?
when is the day that we begin to truly maximize our potential, and spread our love to others?
---is life even supposed to be like that?---

who are you?
who am i?

WHAT are WE???

*p.s. blogger is in a perfectly fine mood while typing these out. point of view not totally influenced by any recent life events, at least that's what she thinks so=) and all points are not intended for specific people for specific reasons, it's just a sharing.

-2:29am-

interesting week=p

2009-07-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

pardon me for delaying this post-exam blog entry haha...

past few days have been most dramatic yet interesting to me since months...

(picture conveniently taken from Yahoo images, blogger too lazy to select nicer and bigger pictures to upload><)

well, those who've watched the match...need i say more?

the man on the left, ROGER FEDERER, has made history by grabbing 15 grand-slam titles to date, overriding Pete Sampras' record of 14...

heartfelt congratulations to Federer^^

not forgetting to pay utmost tribute to Andy Roddick who had played his best tennis in his professional career, making Wimbledon finals 2009 such a memorable one... though of course last year's Federer-Nadal match was epic!

okay that was number one.

number two. finals. though not much input (means not much of studying done), the output was actually quite satisfying... and funny thing was, Sociology essays were more manageable for me than the MCQs zzzz...

number three.

glad that my future supervisor has allowed me to start work next week, rather than the proposed date which is right after my finals==

so i'm only gonna start my treacherous work (quoting from Ke Hui) next monday...

of course finding transport has been a major problem, which makes pls-start-driving-on-your-own-chiam-shien-yin even more necessary><

oh yes, i desperately need to shop for office wear!! anyone to accompany me?

four.

got to meet up with several friends on wednesday and thursday. brought back loads of memories. cant wait to see them again, if there's a chance=p

five.

did something out of the norm, again. but didnt regret for doing that. person involved has been really great=)... p.s. no asking 'why' and 'what' and 'who' here pls...

six.

watched Transformers 2. imo, plot is so-so. graphics and characters are great though=p. acting? erm....no comments...

seven.

watched MJ's memorial. overall was great but i have to agree with the minorities that Paris Jackson's heartfelt speech at the end was commercialized...not that i doubt her sincerity... i doubt other's....

eight.

really wanted to upload s5 gathering pics but photos grabbed from fb are really really small...crap.

anyway, juz wanna say to s5-ians that hey, you all are one of the awesomest group of pp i've ever met!!

*i guess i better stop elaborating in case i'm totally tuned into the past-reflection-emo mode*

but Wen Zhen's latest post on our class blog has definitely put me into fits of laughter hahahaha. she was posting about fast-forwarding to 2017 where we are having our nth class gathering and predicted what is the first thing that we're gonna say... my part was...

"Melody: (on the phone) Yes darling love you miss you muah muah muah. (turns) Oh, that’s just my husband. Jay. "

HAHA.

and btw, friends whom i've not met! (you know who you are) do report yourself to me IMMEDIATELY after reading this and we shall find a day to hang out!!=p

life has always been tough for many of us. but it is this toughness that makes us appreciate our loved ones even more. the feeling is impossible to be explained in words when pp like your friends are there for you when you need them. hence, cherish the moments, as the future is uncertain, and bravely embrace the future life journey by looking up high and opening your arms wide to face all challenges... as the door of your heart will be opened if only you're willing to open it=)

MO emo-ed at 4:41 pm.

wehadfun=)

2009-07-05T01:04:00.000+08:00

more than 20 'activists' invaded RedBox once again, this time in Gardens=)
all of them, me included, had loads of fun, i suppose.
we've also been a great help to the current economic crisi, since 450 bucks...yes it's 450...juz flew off like that, spent on singing and eating ONLY...
erm pictures will be uploaded next post (i hope), n ofcoz i'll grab them all from other pp's facebook=p
so stay tuned!

and i guess miracles are not sufficient to save my laziness...
seriously i have no one to blame but myself if i really scored poorly this time...
finals man. wth wei.

dont care lah.
although exam scores might fly away, joy also keeps us flying up high=p
ok, pardon me for crapping in the middle of the night.

buh bye.
ok ok, will study la haih.

-1 11 am-

dont read. lame post.

2009-07-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

apart from the usual uncontrollable maneuver of the steering and the pedal...
i nearly banged mum's car while i was just DRIVING INTO THE CAR PORCH
shit lah.
i seriously dunno what will happen next if i continue to drive like that.
guess i cant drive to work now T.T

finals on coming monday and tuesday!
heck like i careeeeee

shall continue playing now.
bye.

-1 04 am-

it's a trap i fell into once again.

2009-06-29T13:16:00.000+08:00

went for intern interview today...

(part of the conversation)
supervisor: waa your results are good!
me: durh (i didnt say that out la)
supervisor: so I suppose you're a marketing student? (because i'm applying for the marketing position... hell knows why...)
me: no i'm a psychology student
supervisor: ohh i'm afraid u might feel uncomfortable about the job, because you're supposed to do cold calling everyday...
me: *feels like telling her 'sorry i'm not into this'* ohh okayy... so i'll juz be calling throughout my intern?
supervisor: yes... so when will you be available to start work?
me: oh my finals end on the 7th july....so i think i'll be okay to come after that...
supervisor: okay so u'll start on the 8th then...
me: *should have told her i end later...* okay...
supervisor: i expect u to come for full five days a week, from 9 to 5 30...
me: i'll try my best...
supervisor: no you'll have to come...unless you have a mc...
me: okayyyy....
supervisor: so you're hired! *grins*
me: *grins back forcefully* thank you...
supervisor: you can ask friends who are interested to come for interview as well...

oh well,
i solemnly promised i will QUIT once i find the job unsuitable for me...
probability of quitting = 0.95
and to friends out there who are interested....
PLS COME TEMAN ME!!!
i'm pretty sure the workload will be much lesser if i have company....plus it wont be sooo boring rite...
come la come la come la.
i know i'm desperate, sigh.

say bye to the legendary MJ

2009-06-26T12:54:00.000+08:00

awwwww......
i grew up with his songs man...

current motto: sleeping preceeds studying. at all cost. =)

this is bad.

2009-06-17T14:04:00.000+08:00

i think i broke my sleeping-time-during-school-days record.
5 30am!
bz assing la durh.
and seriously, this is bad. i mean, i cant be starting to sleep when everyone else is going to wake up rite...
so much for promising myself during counseling training that i'll finish all work ahead and sleep by 1am. ><
okay, i shall concentrate in class now.
yeah, it's good thing that tutorials are in comp labs...
and wait for me dudes, you know who you are... i want to hang out!!!^^

-2 28 pm-

say hi to my 'ferrari' =)

2009-06-14T00:44:00.000+08:00

everyone pls scream with me:
MY CAR IS HEREEEEEEEE XD

and i resumed my driving practice, after one year, at mayang...
and i'm still very very nervous)=

and dont ask me to be the transporter ah hehehhe....

-1 11 am-

spell desserts from the back=)

2009-06-13T00:32:00.000+08:00

rewind starting from today...
quiz 2 is quite a pain in the ass
there's totally no advantage for peeping other pp's answer because no one knows the answer...
so basically carmen n i were staring blankly at the subjective questions...
not to mention that both of us read from the back chapters in hope the other will read from the front...
oh well...
anyway after teman-ing ke hui to shop in giant for orphanage trip...
laiwei n us went to some place in kelana jaya for awesome pasta buffet=p
oh yea, we also stopped by amanda's house for FUN hehe...
anyway it only cost 12.99++ per person...damn cheap!!!
we ended up having 6 dishes of spagetthi muahahahaha...
and crapped in the restaurant till 3 smtg hahah...

rewind to thursday...
i don really rmb what happened except that
1. i studied for the quiz till 4am
2. i got 44/50 for QM midterm...
IT'S NOT GOOD KHAY)=
i behhh songgg....
although i'm freaking tired during the exam,
i should at least get 45 khayyy since it's mostly form 5 add math questions...
gahhhhh.....

rewind to wednesday...
presentation day
and i'm feeling good because i got 48/50 *smiles*
i like it when the lecturer said "good job. you should pat yourself on the back"

anddd...
i'm soo worn out now...
so i shall stop here lahh...
buh bye....

-12 44 am-

smiles

2009-06-08T12:02:00.000+08:00

ALL HAIL TO FEDERER!!!
and he's actually on tears...goshhh...
but it's no surprise...
congratulations for...
1. winning French Open 2009 (despite Nadal not being the opponent, Soderling's also quite strong)
2. getting his 14th Grand Slam title, equalling Pete Sampras's record...
3. first time winning French Open after losing to Nadal for 4 consecutive times...
4. one of the six great tennis players to bag all four grand slams...
and 5. being one of the best tennis players in history...you're da man!!!
oh yes, it's a day to remember=p

owh and i've just got my customized shoe soles
worth 500+ bucks ishhhh...
yes i have FLAT FEET...
sooo what??? harrr?? har???
anyway it's so uncomfortable..
and the soles only fit into my sport shoes...
which means i hv to wear sport shoes to college, sport shoes to shopping complex etc etc
yaiks....

okay i'm slacking in my studies.
i better start preparing for presentation on my super-duper-difficult-to-understand article...help!!
and forgive me for the lack for visuals for the recent posts. lazy nak upload)=

p.s. i'm confused.

-12 21pm-

Rolland Garros on the move

2009-06-01T17:26:00.000+08:00

The In's:
1. ROGER FEDERER. YEAH=) although you could have played a better match. but strive on dude, since your biggest competitior is not here anymore.
2. erm the others are not that important YET=p...okay except murray

The Out's:
1. RAFAEL NADAL. OUCH(= u didnt play your best, but Soderling played fantastically....so u're totally to be blamed... anyway i believe u'll be bouncing back pretty soon, maybe during Wimbledon...
2. Novak Djokovic. sigh. bye joker!

didnt pay much attention on the female side though.
am watching Jankovic match now...quite a tight one.

anyway i'm expecting a federer-murray final. which of course my side is on federer=p

yes, the question is...
why am i not studying/reading/assignmenting???
gahhhh....
midterm this thursday,
presentation next week,
hard assignment the following week....
erhu exam is coming...so suck at it now...
what m i doing???

-1 14 am-

rest your back and enjoy the limited leisure

2009-05-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

took me 3 sleep-deprived nights to prepare for sociology quiz 1...
coz i duwan my 10% to fly off like that...
ofcoz i didnt finish reading...
how could i finish 200+ pages of material when i need at least 30 minutes to read and memorize one page....gah...
and the quiz turned out to be quite easy...
i mean, easy but i cant do coz i didnt read...
sigh...

anyway i shall catch some sleep now before i go psycho.

oh, did i mention that i bought a car??
it's a silver premium myvi...
i know, ordinary sangat!!
i want this metallic grey but i'll have to wait for at least 2 months to get them...
IT'S TIME TO START LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE AGAIN.
SIGH.

-1 06am-

demons are on my way. shooo!

2009-05-26T01:05:00.000+08:00

i finally got to watch Angels & Demons today.
only after anticipating it for more than a year lol...
and the movie didnt turn me down!!
awesome!!
except that imo the front part is a bit too draggy
n i'd rather watch an all-four-preferetti-died scence, just like the book
instead of one of them being saved...
anyway, i really wanna read the book for the second time since i forgot almost all of the details...

*****

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

****

oh yes, one of my favourite poems.
okay, not that i like a lot of poems...
it almost perfectly describes my experiences and dilemmas in many ways...
oh a common example would be,
choosing to take sociology instead of intro to mass comm which is a million times easier...bleh...

i often find myself choosing the relatively difficult path,
maybe i want to prove that i can do it,
or live up to people's expectations. (that's so not good)
and the thing is, most of the time i'm not even mentally tough to be able to cope with the situations...
but i truly believe that choosing your own path, not the right/common path will work its way till the end....

ouch...
i'm getting philosophical here...
too immersed into the worlds of Comte, Spencer, Marx n other sociologists...

well, maybe i shouldn't be pushing myself too hard??
go for the hard way, and be successful??
or the easier way, which will be succesful as well??
i prefer the former...
because an easier way doesnt bring you sense of accomplishment, and true happiness...

emo-ed at 1 21am.

pathetically pathetic.

2009-05-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

1. i guess i've got over the humiliation i caused last thursday, at the gym.
what happened was...
i cried at the gym, publicly, like nobody's business.
yeah, so much for being someone who appears to be quite tough.
anyway, it was kinda embarassing.
dont ask me about the reason, because i really dunno why...
i was doing the same leg machine half way...
then i felt a sudden suffocation, which almost resulted in hyperventilation...
and....yea....tears poured down for a freaking half an hour...
okay really sorry for those who thought i was gonna puke and faint or smtg...
but i didnt expect this to happen riteee....

anyway after several analyses....
the possible reasons are:
--> i was physically worn out. i wasnt even recovered from my muscle strains, and yet i tot i could handle it. perhaps mom was rite, i was so egoistic n i tot it's bad to cancel an appointment... i could 'hear' my muslces 'shouting' at me when i was training...'stop it dude!!! stop it!!!'....oh well...

--> my pms has gone from bad to worst. which had severely disrupted my hormonal functions. yeah right.

--> i was too worried about my assignment due the next day. but this reason is quite unlikely, coz i've been through worst than this.

but it's definitely NOT bcoz my diet plan was not successful, as what dad said. LOL.
anyway, i'm officially a crying lad now.
been experiencing some kind of monthly cry cycle since february. yeah.
and my menstrual cycle wasnt even that accurate. HAHAHA.

2. owh sem 1 results are out.
(ranking from worst to best)

# project management (durh...)
grade: C
marks range: 60-64
remarks: expected lahhh. or should i look at the positive side that i did NOT fail???

# social and business communication
grade: B
marks range: 75-79
remarks: okok lah. but she ought to give me higher lahhhh.

# intro to psychology 1
grade: B
marks range: 75-79
remarks: i did quite okay for this, except assignment 1. happy=)

# research methodology
grade: B+
marks range: 80-84
remarks: saya sangat happy=)

# career guidance
grade: A-
marks range: 85-90
remarks: not to say that i'm really proud of this, coz many pp got A- too...

overall quite okay lah,
but next sem tak ada mata nak tengok lah...

3. american idol.
KRIS WON.
sigh.
sigh.
sigh.
*no comments*

4. sociology.
i've read 4 pages out of the 200+ pages i'm supposed to study for quiz THIS FRIDAY.
10 percent wei.
SHOOT ME, PLS.
"for those who procrastinate in their reading...sleep becomes optional for the next few weeks. even a long bath and short bath makes a difference(in timing)," sociology lecturer.
of course, i'm a die hard fan of procrasinators.=)

maybe i should get back to reality and start studying.
bye.
-10 14pm-

you go girl

2009-05-20T00:41:00.000+08:00

i'm here to spend time unwisely (is there such word??).

1. last night in gym, resumed my training session after stopping for 6 months.

personal trainer(pt): hmm...buat apa ah hari ini..oklah, kita buat basic saja
me: okok!! *smiles with relieve*

moments later, we're at this leg machine, which i normally do at 35kg, BUT...
pt: ok, sekarang tukar ke 100(kg)...
me: har???????
pt: 100 lah...
me: er.....

after i 费尽九牛二虎之力
i managed to lift 8 times, with the help of my pt...
i felt that my legs are disjointed from my body...
anyway, after an hour

pt: kamu teruklah hari ni, thursday datang lagi ya
me: ok lo......#(&%)#*&%(*#@

and now almost every part of my body is ass-fully PAIN.
i wonder what i have to do on Thursday, hmm...
more importantly, i wonder how could i strive through erhu lesson tmrw...
but, in the name of slim+perfect body shape...
我会加油的!!!
(coz i've grown a lot in the past few weeks, horizontally)

2. the reason y i'm blogging here.
i was wrong.
VERY WRONG.
i tot Sociology could be quite a breeze,
but it turned out far worst than any Psych subjects so far...

firstly the lecturer herself scared us to bits when she briefed us the outline...
and showed us how thick the textbooks and notes are...
n halo, the thickness is almost equivalent to 5 sejarah textbooks...
to be completed in 7 weeks!!!
anyway after half an hour of threatening...
lecturer: those who wish to take Sociology next sem (maybe never), can leave the hall now...
not surprisingly, HALF the class went off...
should i be proud of being so determined to continue???
well at this moment, i THINK i could handle...rite?? (i need a heavy dose of self confidence)

not to mention the fact that we have to read about 100 pages of Sociology in average before class commences, n there's like 4 classes per week, so abt 400 pages per week...hmm...
fortunately today was the first class, n we haven got our textbook yet,
so our hw today is:
1. read the course outline (lecturer: make sure u read every single word in it)
2. find the definitions of 18 Sociology terms
3. read article(about 12 pages)

how could i even spare time for entertainment??
it's 1am now n i've only read the course outline so far...
this is crap.

but I WILL EMBRACE MY FEAR.
Sociology, here I come!!!

okay, i better go back to my readings...ciao...

-1 01 am-

Big Bad Wolf=)

2009-05-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

to some of you out there,
yeah i'm kinda slow at posting this up
and i didnt buy like 20++ books or so...
simply because i'm not given the chance!!!
i was just half way through...
then sis kept complaining to go home haih...
anyway, what i've got are...

1. Erik Erikson Shaper of: Identity by Richard Stevens
---RM8 (yes i simply bought it because of Erik Erikson, the famous psychologist)
2. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
--RM8 (i've always wanted to buy this...)
3. The Templar Legacy by Steve Berry
--RM8 (random mystery fiction)
4. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
--RM8 (although i knew the storyline, i think it's worth reading the book)
5. Chicken Soup for the Teen Soul by Jack Canfield et. al.
--RM10
6. Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul by Jack Canfield et. al.
--RM10 (it's actually quite a diff book from the previous)

yesss only 6 bookssss for myself
pathetic!!!
oh n did i mention that i wanna buy a book about Michael Phelps
but mom said 'stop being so crazy about him'
fine.

n in case u've not noticed the price, LOOK AGAIN.
FREAKING CHEAP!!!
at least 70% discount wei...mana dapat?!
in total my family bought 23 books...which only costs about rm150+
so go to http://www.bigbadwolfbooks.com/
hurry!!! sales only last till 18th may=)
and if u're going...
plssss take me alonggg
oh well ofcoz i need your transport la hahaha
i really wanna go again man sigh...

oh yeah, A&D is out
i wanna watch!!!
anyone???

-11 05 pm-

Of a 'filled' weekend.

2009-05-10T17:59:00.000+08:00

Saturday

woke up at 7am.
to get prepared for Wesak Day Charity Sale.
this year, we're selling popia and fresh vegetables from Cameron.
popia was a blast!!
overwhelming responses...
so it's not a surprise that everything was sold out within two hours=p

normally i'll be having a good sleep after the sale.
but this year i decided to be THERE FOR MUN TENG. LOL.
okay i expected to be late since it's impossible to reach midvalley at 12 when the sale normally ends at 1.
but i ended up reaching 3 hours late.
haha, sorry lah dudes.
had to pick up my aunt from the hospital.

so i skipped redbox ishhhhh.
but good thing is we got to watch X-Men. *grins*
although the remaining seats are on the first-row o.O
well better than nothing rite...
pity cheeyuen for having to watch the second time haha...
well to me Xmen was quite nice wert...
anyway reached home at about 7...
thanks cheeyuen for the ride! n rmb to return me the 7 bucks for parking ticket haha...

okay, i tot i had quite a day...
but NOT.
i think there's smtg wrong with my nerves
when i suggested to my parents
'why not go mid valley for dinner since we'll be picking up sue (my sis) there?'
so yeah i'm back at mv on 8pm><
even had some shopping after dinner...

MY LEGS ARE BREAKING.
after more than 12 hours of standing + walking==

Sunday

erm not as eventful...
but Happy Mother's Day!! ok and Happy Birthday sis! (on 8th May)
we decided to make popia again since we didnt get to eat during yesterday's sale...
gonna go for Wesak procession tonight...
another 2 hours plus of walk again hahaha...

and then..
it's my last day of hols!!
ohnoohnoohnoohno....
although this coming sem seems quite relaxing...
2 subjects for 2 months...
one is Quantiative Methods (finally there's smtg Mathematical!)
and another free elective, which wouldnt start till next month...i'm thinking of taking Maths 1, an Econ degree subject...
but my timetable's kinda sucky...
mondays and thursdays class from 3-6pm...
do u know how freaking jam it'll be $)^*$)(*$#)(^*$^!@
and where's my car dad?????

and then...
about the maid haih...
we're suspecting she put smtg into our water because there's this cholrine taste in the drinking water for more than a month...
turns out that she turned to the non-filter mode out of convenience...
okayyyyy.....
and what's worst is she said she saw ME doing that
what the..........................
sry maid, i've decided to write a complaint letter abt u ....

p.s.
i agree.
i tend to blame s5-ians sometimes...
because they're too matured and too nice to be with....
hahahahhahaa....

haih, the memories...

LEE HOM XD

2009-05-03T15:02:00.000+08:00

okay, many of you have already posted this.
BUT-HE'S-JUST-TOO-HAWT. =p
besides the looks,
and talent,
and songs, (well some of them)
this is truly 一个有诚意的演唱会
demonstrating his skills effortlessly
proving to us the perfect connection between classical and contemporary music
okay crap.
tooooo bad he didnt play erhu! #*%(#&%)(#@*&)@(*
and he got to shake my cousin's hand!! double @*_)(#*%)(@*%)@(*%@)

anyway i gtg now.
i just dont understand why my mom nags the most during my hols
'you should be doing more meaningful things rather than facebooking (when i'm not even in fb at that time)'
gahhhhh

nth trip to Cameron Highlands

2009-04-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

uncle(owner of farmer) & yours truly

it's only after 10 years that i realize there's a shortcut
from uncle's farm to BOH tea plantation==

p.s. due to some stupid technical errors in Blogger,

the two pics above cant be adjusted to the desired(correct) place

well firstly...

okay la, sorry for making this blog close to death.

你以为我很想咩?
bz studying,

bz attending funeral,
bz playing....

anyway, i'll juz upload some pics...
went to cameron(mom's hometown) the week before finals...
it was niceeeeee:D

Dad & I

Sis(she anti camera punya) & Mum

Had lunch at uncle's farm

unfortunately the shortcut mentioned includes climbing steep slopes

AND crossing over log bridge which is about to fall at any moment. helpppp~~

luckily we managed to cross it...

yeahhh...this road is better!!

nice lehhh my uncle's farm:D

the road not taken. okay, maybe less taken.

(what the heck am i talking about)

all cookings and slaughterings are done here

i can assure you that sitting on a land rover to the farm is very exciting!!!

the roofs

feeling giddy after the ride. not.

take 2

take 3

dumb & deaf couple selling pancakes(had it for breakfast)

aaaandddd....

please meet the cutest (toy) animal...

Snoopy!!!^^

of course, we can only take this when she's asleep

hey Snoop we're in Cameron!!^^
Snoopy you're just so adorable~~

dang, took me at least 3 days to edit this post x.x
fyi, i'm supposed to work now muaahahahah

r.i.p. my beloved grandma.

2009-04-19T18:53:00.000+08:00

she left at about 5:50pm on sunday.
yes, in my house.
accompanied by her family, relatives, chantings by us and Bhante Vimala(my monk classmate),
she passed away peacefully.
it's okay guys.
i'm much better now.
thanks a lot=)

will update later. if i want to.

i have to be strong now.
exam tmrw.
haven started studying.

life is impermanent.

6:55pm

let's do this.

2009-04-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.
yes i'm still alive.
but no i'm not done with finals yet.
starting tomorrow!!!
it's cognitive psychology...60 mcq, 2 essays...
errr....let'sdonttalkaboutthis.
then saturday, it's time for the 'interesting' social n business communication paper on 12 to 2. haven started anything on that. hahah.
which means i will miss a s5 gathering, if they actually have it.
next monday is research methodology. very much unprepared for this as well.
tuesday pmg heheheheh. no comments.
then last day, career guidance. aiyah, dunno what's the exam format wor.
then it's TWO WEEKS BREAK. so what.

btw. talking about pmg.
i got back my another assignment.
20.5 out of 25.
which puts me one of the highest in class.
*if you've not known my marks for the previous assignment, pls refer to the previous post*
seriously, WHAT KIND OF STANDARD IS THIS??!!!

blah blah blah.
time to drown myself in the world of psychos....
till we meet again.

4:43pm

shitandyeay.

2009-04-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

pcp assignment:
8 marks out of 25
which means 4.8 percent out of 15
LOWEST in the class
seriously, hardwork doesnt really pay off sometimes.
I NEED TO PASS PMG DAMN IT.

nvm.
i got my first pay today.
wasnt that much coz i only worked for 4 days last month
but good enough=p
gonna belanja family lunch hehehehe...

have to zzz now...
tmrw have to attend research colloquium...
btw it's time to study hor.
sigh.

1:31am

posers on the move

2009-04-03T00:17:00.000+08:00

everyone!!

click www.scarlette-tears.blogspot.com

look for beautiful girls! (i'm one of them muahahaha...)

Amanda thank me for promoting your blog~~

anyway

worked 9 hours today

on the comp

data entry

drawing charts

tired><

that's why i'm gonna on leave half day tomorrow...

this is killing==

bliss vs red zone

2009-04-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

hey guys.
juz to inform that i actually keep up to my words.
for i've been chilling for the past few days=)
no rushing for assignments, no sleeping too late...
can u believe it? it's only 1 07am now and i'm already preparing to sleep after i finish writing this post hahaha...
i even have time to read a few pages of 'Vanishing Acts' before i go to sleep...
but not totally a good sign though...
finals on the 17th, 18th (a Saturday damn it), 20th, 21st and 22nd ==
haven started revising zzzzzz
hope i'll be able to make full use of the study break which is after next week...
sem 1 is coming to an end...seriously cant believe it==
i can assure u the effort put in is many times more than the whole last year in ausmat...
feels as though i've been studying for years==
i'm proud to be able to complete 13 assignments to date^^....1 more due this friday...

anyway, on a random note...
this new maid of mine is even more weird than the previous...
ignoring the difficulty in communication because her Malay is sooo different from ours...
her logical ability is....ehem...
she can mop before sweeping
use my sis handkerchief to wipe the leaves of the fake trees
wipe her hand after wiping the table (with the same cloth)
MIXING VEGETABLES WITH RED DATES DRINK
the list goes on....
and she's on diet by not having lunch everyday...despite having breakfast at 4 30am...so she'll eat a hell lot during dinner...
nah not really complaining...

ok, bye bye.

tagged by will=)

2009-03-29T23:38:00.000+08:00

before that...
i'm finally done with most of the assignments=)...
managed to survive through the hard times...not bad huh??
sleeping at 5am is juz the key solution to my 'success' ><
anyway i'm gonna lead a normal life now...
oh btw i finally watched Slumdog Millionaire...the movie is not bad...not bad at all...
anyway...in order to temporarily avoid from dealing with problems on which country to go n which uni to transfer, and the scholarship issues bla bla bla...
i shall do tag... (sorry i really have no time to do those fb tags coz it's freaking long><)
p.s. mien i did your tag that u tagged me=p

1. The person who tagged you.................William Shak Soo Wei (correct hor?)

2. Your relationship with him/her is................highschool friend

3. Your 5 impressions of him/her..............errr....mentally and physically tough... caring... determined...responsible...persevere in wtvr he does...

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you..............BURNT MY SCISSORS>< with electricity zzz....i'll rmb that for years lol...

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you.............. dunno le==... okay maybe recently he memberi sokongan kepada saya the day before my presentation?? haha...

6. If he/she becomes your lover you will..............haha we're from different worlds i suppose...plus i'll be freaked out juz worrying about his injuries lol...

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be..............errr ntg in particular...coz he's a nice guy...=)

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will............what can i do wei><

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be..............too bok meng in everything he does haha...

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now.............haha er.... buy him lots of food so he'll grow fat?? haha i bet he wants that too...

11. Your overall impression of him/her is............haha i actually freaked out when he could speak chinese....he looked errrr banana??.... i have to admit that he looked kinda samseng-ish when i first knew him haha..

12. How you think people around you will feel about you? quiet and nerdy...and f-i-e-r-c-e to most of the guys....why la why....== but pp who know me will see me differently i suppose...

13. The characters you love of yourself are...........i often stay strong to myself, resisting negative influences... be at peace with almost everyone i know...

14.On the contrary, the characters that you hate about yourself............undecisive...procrastinate... lazy....too passive at times....lack of self confidence...

15. The most ideal person you want to be is...............it's not yourself if u kept thinking of who and what you wanna be...

16. For people who care and love you, say something to them..........thank you soooo much=)... your care and love to me cant be described by words...hahahaha...

17. Pass this test to 10 persons who you wished to know how they feel about you.

1. Amanda
2. Ying Hui
3. Denise
4. Jie Hui
5. Suat Wei
6. Boon
7. Lok Mun
8. Mun Hon
9. Huei Mien
10. Ying Yang

18. Who is no. 6? ............(Boon) hahaha the future lawyer/politician.. a unique s5-ian=)

19. Is no. 9 a male or female? ........... (Mien) female

20. If no. 7 and no.10 together, is that a good thing? ..............(Lok Mun & YingYang) hahahaha why not if they wanna be the gaysss.....

21. What is no. 2 studying about? ........................(Ying Hui)contemp music in UCSI

22. When is the last time you had a chat with no. 3? ..............(Denise) errrr last friday on the phone? at da's hse that time

23.What kind of music band does no. 8 like?............(Mun Hon) errrr dunno wor...anime songs i guess??

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings? ............. (Amanda) yea...a younger bro and sis...

25. Will you woo no. 3? ...................... (Denise) hahahahaha she let me woo or not XD

26. How about no. 7? .................. (Lok Mun) errrrr nah....we're pretty fine now XD

27. Is no. 4 single? ..................(Jie Hui) hahahahah good question!!! kak are you??=p... she claims yes lahhhh...

28. What is the surname of no.5? ...............(Suat Wei) Thang

29. What is the hobby of no. 10? ..................(Ying Yang) errr....he likes to say wtfbbq?? hahahaha dunno wei...maybe listening to songs gua...

30. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well? ........................(Suat Wei and Mien) i dont think they know each other...

31. Where is no. 2 studying at? ...................... (Ying Hui) UCSI

32. Talk something casually about no. 1...................... (Amanda) she's red like a tomato=p

33 Have you tried developing feelings for no. 6? ...........(Boon) waaaa 我承担不起oh... hor 力宏? =p

34. Where does no. 9 live at? .......... (Huei Mien) our houses are separated by 2 rows of houses, 1 main road and 1 field lol...

35. What colour does no.4 like? ...............(Jie Hui) aiyohh tak tau o.O...i'm guessing green coz she's vegetarian and from rumah hijau?

36. Are no. 5 and 1 best friends? .................(Suat Wei and Amanda) ohhh sure...they used to be at the canteen before perhimpunan in chs...

37. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world? ............... (Lok Mun) hahahaha YES YOU ARE xd...

38. What is no. 6 doing now? .................(Boon) now i think he's asleep lo...

HALF relieved.

2009-03-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

this week is called the critical week for the sem.
as i have 2 presentations and 3 assignments all due in the same week><

yesterday's psy105 presentation was okay. group presentation ma. and 5 minutes only hehe.

mc100 presentation today surprisingly turned out quite okay as well^^

k the topic is quite funny....i'm supposed to persuade Yamaha Music School staffs to provide scholarship for me to study Masters in Music Psychology, then in return, I will have to work as a music psychologist in Yamaha...hahahah what a far-fetched idea....

and thankfully, after the 10 minutes speech...
lecturer: good presentation!
audience: why choose yamaha?
me: errr....coz my dad has been working there for the past 20 years...plus i've been learning piano there since 4 years old...so it's a win-win situation(i really dunno where i learnt this term from o.O) for both the staffs and me as i'll be more familiarized to my future workplace
lecturer: good good...
friend 1: hey i think u're the best so far...u're really convincing....
friend 2: lol your points r so complete that i cant think of anything to ask!

*smiles*....well ofcoz..there r definitely other pp who will be better than me...

and now i'm super damn hell tired...

psy11oa journal due tmrw

mc100 memo+resume & psy111 report due friday.... worst thing is i haven even started that dreadful report...

mau tidur pun tak boleh><

p.s. (my sis told me to post this) she's complaining about my sleeping habbits... thinks i'm a wreck...
oh well it's not that bad rite...for the past few days...my sleeping times are...
4 30am
2am
2 30am
3 30am
HAHAHAHAH very early><

-11 42 pm-

er...it's friday. crap.

2009-03-21T01:55:00.000+08:00

things I did today:
1. attended Vienna test counselling. turned out to be a highly 'dramatic' session. dont ask why. but i've learnt a lot from that.

2. went to work. sooo glad that it's purely data entry, no callings. i only managed to key in 20 sets of surveys after 4 hours wth==....and have to work tmrw morning><...and maybe sunday as well...

3. went to gym. 5km. it's good=)

4. went to Kayu for supper. there's this food called poori which is delicious but highly addictive haha...

i have a lot to say actually.
but i'm really worn out now.
but before that....

presentation/assignment due next week:
1. research meth presentation on tuesday.
2. comm presentation on wednesday.
3. comm memo report and resume on friday.
4. cognitive psych report on friday.

all which I'VE NOT STARTED. WTH.

okay, as i've said.
i'm really tired.
nitez.

2.17am

Tagged by Yi Ping, Dragon, and the Sha(r)k who Will bite XD

2009-03-20T02:25:00.000+08:00

First Tag

100 truths
001. Real name - Shien Yin
002. Nickname(s) - melody, shien shien, chiam, pn chiam, chiam po, chiam chiam chiam chiam~~~=.=
003. Zodiac sign - Libra
004. Male or female - Female
005. Elementary - Peter and Jane Kindergarden
006. Middle School - SJK(C) Yuk Chai
007. High School - Catholic High School
008. College -Sunway University College
009. University - HELP Institute
010. Hair Color - black + brown + WHITE
011. Long or short - long
012. Loud or quiet - quiet
013. Sweat or jeans - jeans
014. Phone or camera - phone
015. Health freak - i prefer vege and fruits to meat
016. Drink or smoke - drink
017. Do you have crush on someone - not at the moment
018. Eat or drink - both
019. Piercings - none
020. Tattoos - none

Firsts:
023. First piercing - none
024. First best friend - er....two actually...Li Ling and Rachel
025. First award - standard 4 bm essay writing competition hahahah
026. First Crush - define crush
027. First pet - some hamster
028. First big vacation - Gold Coast
030. First big birthday - 4 years old

Currently:
049. Eating - had soup at 1130. now is 230 and i'm hungry.
050. Drinking - water
052. I'm about to - fill up scholarship form
053. Listening to - the clock ticking
054. Plans for today - the day is over
055. Waiting for - the tag to finish=p

Future:
058. Want kids - yes
059. Want to get married - yes
060. Careers in mind - psychologist. dunno what kind yet. ohh and psychology lecturer too.

Which is better in the boy/girl you like:
068. Lips or eyes - eyes
070. Shorter or taller - taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous - romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - both
074. Sensitive or loud - more towards sensitive
075. Hook-up or relationship - relationship
076. Trouble maker or hesitant - both kills

Have you ever:
080. Lost glasses/contacts - nope
081. Run away from home - nope
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense - nope
083. Killed somebody - nope
084. Broken someone's heart - define that as well.
085. Been arrested - nope
087. Cried when someone died - not at the moment

Do you believe in:
089. Yourself - mostly no
090. Miracles - sometimes
091. Love at first sight - nope
092. Heaven - maybe. i dont bother.
093. Santa Claus - maybe
094. Tooth Fairy - nope
095. Kiss on the first date - dunno

Answer Truthfully:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now - that would be me. i lost myself.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life - not really
099. Do you believe in God - define the type of God u mean
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people (i tag no one)

Second Tag

Level 1( ) Smoked a cigaratte
( ) Smoked a cigar
( ) Kissed a member of the same sex
(X) Drank alcohol
So far: 1

Level 2( ) Are/Been in love
() Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Been fired
( ) Been in a fist fight
So far: 1

Level 3(X) Have a crush on an older person
(X) Skipped school
( ) Slept with a co-worker
( ) Seen someone/something die
So far: 3

Level 4( ) Had/Have a crush on one of your facebook friends
( ) Been to Paris
( ) Been to Spain
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Thrown up from drinking
S0 far: 4

Level 5(X) Eaten sushi
() Been snowboarding
( ) Met someone because of facebook
( ) Been in Mosh Pit
So far: 5

Level 6( ) Been in an abusive relationship
() Taken pain killers
(X) Love/loved someone who you cant have
() Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
() Maid a snow angel
So far: 6

Level 7( ) Had a tea party
(X) Flown a kite
(X) Built a sand castle
( ) Gone mudding
(X) Played dressed up
So far: 9

Level 8() Jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) Gone sledging
(X) Cheated while playing a game
(X) Been lonely
(X) Fallen asleep at work/school
So far: 12

Level 9(X) Watched the sunset
( ) Felt an earthquake
( ) Killed a snake
So far : 13

Level 10(X) Been tickled
( ) Been robbed/vandalized
(X) Been cheated on
(X) Been misunderstood
So far: 16

Level 11(X) Won a contest
( ) Been suspended from school
() Had detention
() Been in a car/motorcycle accident
So far: 17

Level 12( ) Had/have braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight
SO far: 17

Level 13(x ) Hated the way you look
( ) Witnessed a crime
() Pole danced
(X) Questioned your heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
So far: 19

Level 14
(X) Squished barefoot through the mud
(X) Been lost
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
(X) Swam in the ocean
(x ) Felt like you were dying
So far: 23

Level 15() Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
() Recently colored with crayons/ colored pencils/ markers
(X) Sang karaokie
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
So far: 26

Level 16(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
() Made a prank phone call
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
() Kissed in the rain
So far: 28

Level 17( ) Written a letter to santa claus
( ) Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared
(X) Blown bubbles
()Made a bonfire in the beach or anywhere
So far: 29

Level 18( ) Crashed a party
(X) Have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
( ) Gone rollerskating/blading
(X) Had a wish come true
( ) Been humped by a monkey
So far: 31

Level 19(X) Worn pearls
( ) Jumped off a bridge
( ) Swore at the teacher, infront of them
( ) Swam with dolphins
So far: 32

Level 20:() Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
( ) Kissed a fish
() Worn the opposite sex's clothes
() Sat on the roof top
So far: 32

Level 21(X) Screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) Done/attempted one-handed cartwheel
() Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) Recently stayed up for a whole night talking to someone you care about
So far: 34

Level 22( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree
() Climbed a tree
() Had/ Been in a tree house
(X) Been scared to watch scary movies alone
So far: 35

Level 23(X) Believe in ghosts
( ) Have had more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) Gone streaking
( ) Visited jail
So far: 36

Level 24( ) Played chicken
() Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) Broken a bone
() Been easily amused
So far: 36

Level 25
() Caught a fish the ate it later
( ) Made a porn video/got asked to make one
() Caught a butterfly
(x) Laughed so hard you cried
(x) Cried so hard you laughed
So far: 38

Level 26( ) Mooned/flashed someone
( ) Had someone mooned/flashed you
(X) Cheated in a test
(X) Forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) Gone skinny dipping
( ) Been kicked out of your house
( ) Tried to hurt yourself
So far: 40

Level 27(X) Ride a roller coaster
() Went scuba-diving/snokerling
( ) Had a cavity
( ) Black-mailed someone
( ) Been blackmailed
So far: 41

Level 28(X) Been used
(X) Fell going up the stairs
( ) Licked a cat
( ) Bitten someone
() Licked someone
So far: 43

Level 29( ) Been shot/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someone's tyres
( ) Rode your car/truck until the gas light come on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
Total: 43

tags ate up my time==

Life of a Psychology student who procrastinates and has un-cooperative group members

2009-03-17T00:55:00.000+08:00

14th March(Sat)
3pm-3am: was doing first assignment due on monday

15th March (Sun)
3pm-11pm: was completing that first assignment. i did 95% of the work for this group project(7 members wei...)....gave them some work to do pun tak tau buat. fugging members.

11pm-1am: prepared points for second assignment. luckily Esther's in charged of doing the movie presentation.

1am-5am: started doing third assignment. did 80% of the group work.

16th March(Mon)
7 30am: woke up.

8am-10 30am: completed third assignment.

12pm-4pm: class. surprisingly i'm not tired YET.

5 30pm-9pm: afternoon-night nap.

1am (now): still like a zombie. so i shall go to bed.

***********************************

i know i need to change.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............

p.s. will do the tags in the next post

friday the 13th.

2009-03-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

complicated day.

to me.

but maybe important?

anyway,

had to wake up early(9am than the usual 1pm) to attend friggging replacement tutorial class...

and i still thought I have a maid...hence waking up at 9 hoping to leave hse at 10

so i totally forgotten that i need to tidy up the bed(including parent's) and wash all the cups and plates><

okay lah, i dont need to have a maid at the age of 18++....but still sigh...

and in the afternoon,

i worked...

yes u're right

SHIEN YIN FINALLY STARTED WORKING!!!

(you guys should be clapping, not giving me the 'so what' look x.x)

i really didnt think of having a parttime job at this moment

somehow i blindly registered during yesterday's career fair...

wtvr lah, since it's near my house...and they claim that i'll be paid 7 bucks per hour...

the job was supposed to be data entry...

but it turned out to be the dreadful calling task zzzzz....

they claim again that i have to do quality checking on the surveys first before i can key in data..

which means i have to call almost everyone of them to check whether they've accurately completed the survey....gahhhh.....

so i just called and called and called throughout my 4 hour shift o.O....

repeating the same phrase to almost a 100 people...

(radiation from 4 hours phone call + radiation from 2 computers everyday = something undesirable)

no wonder my headaches are getting frequent hmm....

'nice' part of the job is when some of the participants couldnt understand simple english o.O...

and i wasnt expecting to phrase questions in Malay after dumping BM for 2 years... and my cantonese is oh-ever-so-broken....

fine...a new experience indeed....

it's not even 12am now but i have to sleep in order to..

start doing my 3 assignments simultaneously and find a miraculous way to complete everything by sunday

*cheers*

yes talk about procrastination...

or rather....)^($&^($*&)$(*&^)#$(*&^%)#$(*^&$) [i dont think it's ethical to spit foul words in my blog]

hence, bye.

motto: live as it is. dont forget. dont remember. be strong.

50 things that I want to do during my lifetime.

2009-03-12T01:28:00.000+08:00

Finding something different to post.
Ms. Yeo told us to write 50 things that we want to do for career journal.
so why not i just copy n paste here hehehee...

1 Tour to every country in Europe.
2 Set up my own music school.
3 Set up my own psychology clinic.
4 Become a psychology lecturer in a good university.
5 Set up orphanage, old folks home and nursing home.
6 Own a semi-D.
7 Hold a doctorate degree at the age of 25-30.
8 Buy a golf course for my father.
9 Buy a platinum ring for my mother.
10 Buy a bungalow for my sister.
11 Visit the Great Wall of China.
12 Visit Angkor Wat.
13 Visit the hometown of my ancestors in China.
14 Learn to play at least 10 musical instruments including electone, drum and guitar.
15 Meet and get an autograph from Michael Phelps and Jay Chou, and all the stars that I admire.
16 Own a BMW.
17 Own several restaurants that sell Chinese, Western, Japanese, Indian, Malay, Korean and Vietnamese food resepectively.
18 Get a good husband and have at least three kids.
19 Learn and be pro at playing basketball, Frisbee, swimming, tennis, netball, squash, bowling and ice skating.
20 Learn hip-hop dance and yoga.
21 Own a personal fitness centre.
22 Set up an audio visual and music room in my future house.
23 Learn how to draw beautiful people and sceneries.
24 Master Chinese calligraphy.
25 Own a 5-star hotel and holiday villa with beach and swimming pools in it.
26 Develop therapies/medicine to cure my asthma completely.
27 Develop therapies/medicine to cure my father’s and my sister’s rashes completely.
28 Get a loyal driver who works 24/7.
29 Be a professional food taster.
30 Have a weight of 53 kg and height of at least 165cm.
31 Run 5km continuously on the treadmill within 30 minutes.
32 Learn cycling and skipping rope.
33 Invent no-fat and no-sugar chocolates while maintaining the sweet taste.
34 Master all kinds of meditation skills.
35 Join a NGO.
36 Give a Dharma talk.
37 Compose 100 songs.
38 Learn to bake at least 10 types of cakes and cookies.
39 Be the founder of a charity organization.
40 Form teams to debate and develop efficient solutions to improve on politics and education system in Malaysia.
41 Recite and memorize a complete suttha (chant).
42 Get a PR in Australia or United States of America.
43 Read at least 1000 English and Chinese novels.
44 Be a famous music producer and have an album of my own on piano performance.
45 Publish at least 5 psychology journals and a book on Music Psychology.
46 Sincerely smile and/or laugh at least 10 times a day.
47 Act in a film with pop stars and good movie directors.
48 Get a gold medal in an academic competition and sports event.
49 Have a street and music studio named after me.
50 Live till at least 80 years old.

2 things.

2009-03-09T02:06:00.000+08:00

the maid went back home and it's not until 2 months later that the new one will come. well, a few of my previous maids had been going back hometown for 2 months during the year end holiday...and yeah, that's the point. during the holidays. which means housechores are useful to kill time during the long break. but now it's not. it's the freaking two months where i have assignments piling up and finals coming in a month's time.
but i'll have to face it sonner or later. i dont want to be so miserable in some corner of my future house/apartment/hostel in UK all alone (that's if Ke Hui has decided to go to Leeds instead of Cardiff)...not knowing how to cook, wash, repair blah blah blah....okay, i know i have always not learnt to be independent...
so now it's the time to do so! i can foresee the moments of cooking(not too hard for me), washing clothes and cleaning the toilets(nooooOOOooOOooOoo)....oh well...if other people can do it, why cant i riteeee

on another note, parents have decided to send my 87-year-old bedridden grandma to the nursing home. most people, including me, would think that sending your parents to nursing home(quite similar to old folks home) is an act of not showing filial piety towards your parents... but coming back to reality, she seriously needs professional care... she's practically left with skins and bones now(totally no sign of fats)...probably not more than 30kg??... and she's barely able to sit steadily, let alone standing and walking...worst thing is, she cant control her bowel movements hence shitting all over the place(i'm serious...)... and if she continues to just lie on the bed day and night, which will most probably lead to bed soar...things will become worst...which wouldnt bring any benefit to any of us...
soooo after rounds of discussions... dad, mom and i went for nursing-home-hopping this afternoon... finally found a suitable one after visiting 4 homes....hope she's happy to stay there...although i believe most elderlies wont enjoy staying somewhere away from their family...

sorry if the description sounds boring... i just wanna say that grandma, we will always love you no matter where you are...you're always our beloved grandma^^... i hope you understand that the decision made is intended to bring you good health and happiness....

i asked my parents if...i mean if they are happy when one fine day they're old and frail that i've decided to send them to nursing homes...they said they'd even go there by themselves even when i didnt ask them to go...oh my...this is speechless...
but i promise...dad and mom, i'll try my very best to take care of you when u're old as long as i exist in this world...

p.s. love your parents. love your grandparents too.

dont read.

2009-03-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

since plurk wouldnt load...again
i'll have to resolve to blogging
although sis said 'your blog is full of negative energy' ><

SO DONT READ.
GO STUDY.
GO PLAY.
GO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

actually what i wanna say is....

oh sorry. i've decided not to say it out. disappointed?

nothing important lah, really.

hope you guys are doing fine....missing mom who's in uk, friends whom i have minimal contact with, cousins who are fun and noisy, teachers who are always so dedicated blah blah blah...

no point suffering too much from MED. for some of u who dunno, it stands for midnight emo disease=)
so i think it's time to sleep. tata.

just a short update

2009-03-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

okay i know this blog is dying.
i really dont have much time to complain about unhappy i am....or share the happy moments i've been having...

1. finally done with pcp. not that difficult. and i regretted for preparing too much for mc100 quiz(although only 50% of preparation haha...). and i haven started career guidance ASS yet. so ASS.

2. first time attended a wedding dinner on a weekday night. waited 2 hours for the bride and bridegroom to turn up. food was unique and delicious. was sitting on the same table with several Chinese, two Indians and a Dutch couple.

3. i really think my skin is too fair. actually, it's closer to PALE. due to lack of exposure to sunlight. i really miss swimming!!! and merentas desa! and running!(besides running on the treadmill...)

4. i'm trying to 看开一点. but sometimes it seems that i'm just avoiding the reality. didnt and still cant manage to find the right solution to problems. and now i believe that history might actually repeat. oh no.

5. u know what. i think i should sleep now. nowadays my earliest sleeping time has been like...3am?? this is soo shit... and there is a verified hypothesis where the earlier i sleep, the lesser the chance that MED(midnight emo disease) will attack...

so nitez.
1:33am

New laptop!!!^^

2009-02-22T01:53:00.000+08:00

yeahh....finally i got my own laptop><
i juz leave everything to my dad to choose the brand, design, cost etc etc
it's Toshiba...RM 2.3K....silver/grey cover...
but i just hope that it'll be green muahahaha...
but anyways...i'm quite satisfied with it...
except that it lags a lot...dunno why><...esp fb!

as for past exams and assignments...
let bygones be bygones><
let's hope that burning the midnight oil till 4++ am will work miracles on my papers...

for future exams and assignments....
errrr....
the future is uncertain.
hahah.

okay it's time to sleep.
back to the busy routine tmrw.
and thanks dudes for cheering me up=)
really appreciate that :D

Beware: super emo post.

2009-02-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

i miss my old self.
now i'm one who's overly worried in almost everything...
and at crucial moments, i opt to shut myself up just to avoid doing things i'm supposed to be doing...
like now... blogging when there's an major assignment due tmrw...
sometimes i think i should just be indifferent and ignorant... just GIVE UP
many pp will think that 'since they're not caring... why bother??'
we can be a carefree person... eat, sleep, play....that should be the ultimate purpose of life...
so why bother??
but when obligations and responsibilities come into mind...
we have to take charge...and take necessary actions...
looking at some individuals who are so determined and PASSIONATE in achieving their missions and fulfilling their dreams...
i begin to think that i shouldnt be the low graded one...i should live up to my standards..and go beyond them...
but the environmental factor is just so depressing...
u cant dont friend someone just because u dont like them
humans are interactive beings...they need to socialize and be associative in order to survive in the world of reality...
but the cultural aspect tells me that i should learn to be patient...and wise...and calm at almost all times...
however there is also a voice telling me: 'just do it girl. be assertive. strive for things that u want. pp wont change for you. you have to change yourself first'
but being the worrier again... i'm overly cautious of the consequences i'll face...
i do not like fights, arguments, useless debates...
i want peace...and calamity.. and that's the main problem... I'M AFRAID TO CHANGE... afraid to be out of my comfort zone...
i have a choice now..
to take up all the burden and try in every possible way to be successful...
or to just leave everything behind and enjoy peaceful life and be a part of them...
although i'm pretty sure i'll chose the former one...
i can foresee how stressed up i'll be in the near future...
i just hope i wont collapse.

i need some advise=)

unfortunate.

2009-02-17T16:04:00.000+08:00

okayyy. bad luck this time.
severe flu two days before start of midterms.
and it still doesnt get better now.
luckily biopsych wasnt as hard as i've expected it to be...
tmrw is research meth... can freaking die...
IMAGINE A TEXTBOOK WITH NO PICTURES AT ALL...o.O
and sat project management...hahaha...i need a miracle to get pass that...

assignments are still piling up...
i think i have about 7-8 at the moment?!
wth man...

okay time to study....
will try to be more positive after this month...

p.s. freaking hate a bunch of pp...

epilepsy. (kind of)

2009-02-07T01:51:00.000+08:00

i am not behaving normally.
i really hope history wouldnt repeat.
everything is like a dream...

i don even know what to do, what to react, what to think.

p.s. this is just another typical midnight emo post.
p.p.s. first paper in 10 days time...freaking shit...

Tagged by Cecil=)

2009-02-05T16:38:00.000+08:00

The Rules:

1. Take picture of yourself at this instant

2. Don't change your clothes, Don't fix your hair. Just take a picture

3. Post the picture taken with NO EDITING

4. Post your picture with the instructions

5. Tag 8 people

-i dont like the shadows
-i'm juz back from coll...hence unbathed... hence oily face
- i want a tanned skin
-my hair curled back effffff.....

i tag:
amanda
shu wen
jie hui
boon
janez
suat wei
huei mien
denise
and others who feel like showing off their faces LOL

p.s. i hope i'm better now...

things i wanna say today

2009-02-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

1. midterm is actually in 2 weeks time. i think even 'hugging the Buddha's leg' last minute wont be of much use.

2. Phelps is on drugs. and he admitted it. unbelievable.

3. i'm trying to stay calm despite having many many group assignments(which i loath it) due this month.

4. i'm trying to live up to the true meaning of 出淤泥而不染. i believe that the presence of certain people will help me grow strong mentally... be it in a postive or negative way.

5. erm...i still wanna play mahjong and enjoy the moments of winning 5 rounds straight=)

reality is cruel.

happee cny=)

2009-02-01T17:50:00.000+08:00

25th Jan
had cny eve dinner with aunt and grandpa at MY house==

26th Jan
went to BUBS. had vegetarian lunch. unexpectedly went to visit showhouses at SPK...also not forgetting Setia Eco Park, which we went for the nth time (dad n sis too desperate to have a semi-d><)

27th Jan
watched 大喜事--damn lame. mom cooked delicious dinner, because there's butter prawn=)

28th Jan
watched 赤壁--so-so. visited 姑婆. and 21 relatives from Klang came to visit.

29th Jan
went for lunch with Aunt Lily at Curve. then visited neighbour. then had dinner at aunt's house.

30th Jan
went to Pyramid with Sophia, Mun Hon and two of his chs friends whom i dont really know them. my bowling skills sucked to the bottomless pit><. i excused myself earlier because ehem ehem...=).... i mean because i wanted to be a good student by attending the only-one-hour tutorial class which i skipped it at the very last minute because of a seemingly stomach ache><... sry la dudes lol.. but anyway they came to my house with Lynn at night to play mahjong and chordaidi. 17 relatives from my mom's side came to visit=) [i actually counted lol]

31st Jan
rejected the primary skul gathering invitation because i missed s5 sooo much muahahahah.... about 8 of us went househopping... started all the way from Cheras(suatwei's house)... gambled...i mean they gambled not me k==... and then Chor Yeng's house for lunch and played a lil bit of piano and watched Lok Mun showing off his rubik cube skills lol... and then to tadaaaaa....
MY HOUSE! lol... we planned to visit other pp's house as well... but they got too high after playing endless rounds of mahjong, snap, 'KILLER' etc etc. sooo 3 hours gone==... honestly i'm really sry to other pp's house whom we've not visited lo... we'll visit next year k><..... and at night had dinner with kai mui n family=)... and u know what daa daa, my mom said your dad looks like a Thai o.O

1st Feb
caught by mom to climb Kiara hill again><... Auntie Phang came to visit... and now i'm watching the Federer vs Nadal match^^.... hope Federer would be able to gain his 14th Grand Slam title=p

Summary: this year's cny is full of 人气=) which is quite a good thing...
this is by far one of the best cny i've experienced
anyway it's time to settle down...
for midterm is just 3 weeks away(ignoring the fact that i've not obtained my textbooks and have not read a single thing nor done a single hw during the holidays><)

may i be blessed with good health, good results and great happiness=)

The Ox Year^^

2009-01-30T01:56:00.000+08:00

it was said to be a good year for the Horses.
hope it's true=)

had ang pau's...
had mahjong's...
had friends n relatives...
had delicious food...
had fun...

did not have the study mood...
did not have the hw mood...

these two can make me dead like anything><

-1:59 am-

2009-01-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

1. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR. no pics sry=)
2. COLD WAR SUCKS.

that's all i wanna say today.

midnight.

2009-01-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

i'm kinda hungry but all i could find was:
1. cookies.....(fattening)
2. chocolate....(also fattening)

and there's cheese. okay not that fattening. plus it has calcium.
but still hungry lah.

anyway i resolved to blogging random stuffs because(i think) i have pms.
and stupidly...
1. MSN
2. Youtube
3. Windows Media Player
cant function><
I NEED MUSIC WHEN I'M EMO!!!!
DANG IT.

and you know what,
I dont like pp to touch my handphone.
i mean, playing games is okay.
but de-silenting my phone during lecture is a no-no. (thank goodness it didnt ring during class)
and changing my ringtone from 命硬 to 牛仔很忙 is also a no.
i'm not saying the song is not nice or what.
but could you pls juz tell me before u edit stuffs in my phone.
(that juz shows how fluctuating my mood is after seeing me getting angry over a small matter)

had psg meeting today.
hope to participate actively in this club...
considering to join persoanalysis and HELP toastmasters=)

and i stayed up late to watch Obama's Inauguration Ceremony^^
which was the reason why i almost fell asleep during biopsychology><
Obama didnt seem as charming as he was during post-election...
but still he's a great leader...
so inspirational and motivating...
n i wanted to watch his inauguration speech on youtube...which obviously failed==

and Australian Open is finally here!
many said Murray will win...
but ofcoz, my bet'll be always be Federer...or Djokovic... though their chances of winning is slim...
as for females... i'd prefer either of the William sisters...

okay i feel so much better now.
thanks bloggie=)
i shall attempt to do my hw now.
sigh.

and i cant wait for cny:D