another another update

nervousness often leads to failure.

so true. how many times have i been facing such experiences....and yet i never learnt. still as timid, unconfident, cautious...and everything that's similar to it.

it all started from my grade 8 piano exam at 2004. before that everything seemed smooth-sailing for me. it all starts with the letter P(Pass) and it's never a F(Fail).

then it goes on to more failures on piano exams. failure on spm results. failure on driving(juz a bit lah i know) etc.etc.

i always blame the faults on my personality. as in being timid and unconfident has been in my blood. but it's wrong obviously. what we think changes what we are. success comes from passion, determination and confidence.

but it's always easy to say. hard to do.

i still have a lot to learn...

another update

next week...u're coming???

maybe yes maybe no. i hope it's a no.

it's about 4 months and 23 days already. i know it has been hard. but i'm doing my best. to forget is to let it go. and seriously, i'm trying really hard to let go. but to let go is to not trying to let it go. but to just let it go. oh shut up! i did put an effort to it la so as to say...

but i still can't take the risk. what if........what if....gah so many what if's... i know i'm thinking a lot...but we always can't control what we think rite...

juz hope that everything'll be fine next week...nowadays i've been hoping for exciting moments..but for next week...pls be as dull and boring as possible...pleaseee...

p.s. hope this monday'll be a good day!

p.p.s. it's juz a crap piece of writing. don't put too much effort to figure out what i was trying to say...let it go^^

an update

okay since u guys desperate for updates...

i didn't disappear khay...(amanda u're the one disappearing from malaysia=p)

i juz find more enjoyment reading other pp's blog rather than composing my own stuffs which i'm not really good at it...

so the update is: i had my driving exam today.

bear in mind that i'm a good citizen*ahem*. so i didn't bribe. and i got 17 upon 20 for the on the road test. i actually tot i was going to fail after witnessing my lousier-than-normal driving skills. thank god i've got a lenient examiner.

next was slope. i tot i would fail that too bcoz the day before i kept sei fo at the slope. luckily i passed that.

now confidence starts rolling in. left with parking and three-point turn. which is my pro-est part(compared to other sections la). and guess what...

I KNOCKED ON THE TIANG.(aka pole or stick or wtvr u name it)

I NEVER KNOCKED ON THE TIANG BEFORE U KNOW. why...why... do i knock on this very 'auspicious' day???

no comments. retake lo...what to do....

another RM150 for retaking. and i saved RM200 for not bribing. which means save RM50. not bad wei...=.="

so it's hi amanda. i'm gonna join u next friday. aren't u so so very happy.....^^"

What Major is Right for You?

You scored as a Psychology/Sociology

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major.

Psychology/Sociology 100%
Mathematics/Statistics 75%
Education/Counseling 75%
English/Journalism/Comm 75%
PoliticalScience/Philosophy 69%
Accounting/Finance/Marketing 63%
History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 56%
French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 56%
Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 56%
HR/BusinessManagement 56%
Physics/Engineering/Computer 44%
Visual&PerformingArts 38%
Biology/Chemistry/Geology 31%
Religion/Theology 31%

i shall not brag on my driving lessons. because that will not lessen my emo-ness. after all, i still have to pass the exam in order to get my P.

life has been quite okay recently. less dramatic but more contentment.

last friday went to stay overnight in amanda' s house. chattered and gossiped till 4 am. and they wouldn't let me have supper when i'm hungry=.=".....oh well...i still had a great time with them though...and i guess this will be my last outing until my next exam...which is months later....ishhh

dad's in japan now. a 2 weeks business trip. and he almost forgotten to talk to me on the phone!!!... he kept chit chatting wif my mom and sis and he almost said bye bye when i suddenly confronted him 'oi u only have one daughter a???'.....geezzz....i'll expect more souvenirs when he's back haha...

i did bad for chemistry. don't want to type out my marks here because i'm ashamed of it><... haven got back other subjects yet... and for the nth time, i'm telling myself that i'm gonna work harder next time.... we'll see....

ausmat's having a carrer exploration week program starting today(wed) till friday. juz attended some medical and psychology talk. i'm totally not interested in medical and biotech and pharmacy stuffs but what can i do since psychology comes together wif them. so that's why i only concentrated on the psychology part. and gosh...dr. teoh's such a good speaker!!!....hope i'll really really really get to lyk psychology when i'm pursuing the degree next year... mun teng u're right wei! psychology rocks!! haha.. oh and janez...hope to see u in HELP next year hehe...

that's all i guess. i know my posts have been boring and monotonous(or maybe it was juz self-pity?)... anyway...i don't restrict myself in blogging things about what pp wants to see..i'll prefer blogging about things i wanna write about... so blame my less-creative or less-humorous mind or wtvr u name it...

past events

first, don't blame me for not updating. blame the thunderstorm. blame the socket which is supposed to protect the dear modem 99%. blame that so unfortunately it kena that 1%><

i shall start from last friday. first day of break. can't recall what happened. forget it.

saturday: went bukit kiara as usual in the morning. then last minute mom decided to go 1u and so i called xiao chin to buy me and my sis movie tickets...'L changed the world' muahahaha....the show's not bad... not as exciting as the previous two movies due to different director i guess...but it's kinda scary at some parts esp when the victims got attacked by some deadly virus...u'll get to lyk L a lot after that...proven when my sis cried when L's dying and then she got crazy over L ever since...(she even changed my phone screen to death note pics)...rushed to attend Vipassana Meditation Course in my buddhist society wif dad...i dozed off once i started meditating..and i sort of forgotten where am i after i woke up=.="....good experience anyway lol... went to Gardens in the evening for dinner and hanging around...i'm beginning to lyk that place..it's spacious=p

sunday: s5 illegal gathering as what you guys said haha...waited early in the morning at chee yuen's house for almost an hour><...haih who ask me to be so desperate for transport... went red-box and got high as usual... wen zhen getting emo, my dear 'husband' suat wei getting prettier, 'mr' jie hui being the first timer was forced to sing(but nice voice wei)....too bad i gtg off earlier...but i really had a great time...you guys rock to the max!!!

monday: modem-malfunction-day. had driving lesson. started reading 'slam dunk' comics...outdated i know hahaz....

tuesday: screwed up my driving lesson. finally started to work on applics.

wednesday: screwed up my driving lesson again. modem finally got replaaced at night. hooray!!!

thursday: was supposed to wait for driving instructor to come but he didn't turn up in the end. mom called to nag on him. so the scene's lyk my mom nags on a nagger LOL.

okay that's all i could remember i think. and i donno why...whenever i drive and even after that...i'm beginning to lose confidence, courage, alertness etc. etc. i'm depressed. but i'll gain them back....ritee???

grrrrrrrrrrrrr

SAYA TAK SEMPAT TO COMPLETE MY ECONS TEST><"
and it's 25% of my internal exam. and i've only managed to write half of the essay. and i didn't really finish my structure as well.
i'm depressed.......
anyway i didn't do well for chem too....english was okay...i hope to get at least more than 90 for my accts....and it's applics after the one week break starting next week....gotta drill hard on it....
my driving instructor's gonna come to sunway at 2 pm later to pick me up for driving lessons.................i don't wanna comment on it. i juz hope everything'll go as smooth and fine as possible...
i shall sign off now. i need to write echo minutes. coz meeting's afterwards><"....i know i'm such an irresponsible secretary><

okay there's a good thing. I'M GONNA HAVE A KINDA LONG BREAK STARTING FROM TOMORROW TILL END OF NEXT WEEK. MUAHAHAHAHA.