Beware: super emo post.

i miss my old self.
now i'm one who's overly worried in almost everything...
and at crucial moments, i opt to shut myself up just to avoid doing things i'm supposed to be doing...
like now... blogging when there's an major assignment due tmrw...
sometimes i think i should just be indifferent and ignorant... just GIVE UP
many pp will think that 'since they're not caring... why bother??'
we can be a carefree person... eat, sleep, play....that should be the ultimate purpose of life...
so why bother??
but when obligations and responsibilities come into mind...
we have to take charge...and take necessary actions...
looking at some individuals who are so determined and PASSIONATE in achieving their missions and fulfilling their dreams...
i begin to think that i shouldnt be the low graded one...i should live up to my standards..and go beyond them...
but the environmental factor is just so depressing...
u cant dont friend someone just because u dont like them
humans are interactive beings...they need to socialize and be associative in order to survive in the world of reality...
but the cultural aspect tells me that i should learn to be patient...and wise...and calm at almost all times...
however there is also a voice telling me: 'just do it girl. be assertive. strive for things that u want. pp wont change for you. you have to change yourself first'
but being the worrier again... i'm overly cautious of the consequences i'll face...
i do not like fights, arguments, useless debates...
i want peace...and calamity.. and that's the main problem... I'M AFRAID TO CHANGE... afraid to be out of my comfort zone...
i have a choice now..
to take up all the burden and try in every possible way to be successful...
or to just leave everything behind and enjoy peaceful life and be a part of them...
although i'm pretty sure i'll chose the former one...
i can foresee how stressed up i'll be in the near future...
i just hope i wont collapse.

i need some advise=)