Wednesday, January 30, 2008

to friends whom i care for

Everyone seems really down nowadays. At least some of my friends are...

those who are struggling in colleges...be it sunway or taylors or help...now they know what they had been expecting earlier did not come true...most of them thought that life in college would be a luxurious one...but at the end we still end up rushing for homeworks and struggling lyk hell to meet deadlines for assignments...and what could be worst than that when all of their ex school mates are not there to chat and laugh with them anymore...sigh...

those who are also struggling very hard while working...filthy rich they are some of them...and yet they still work lol...many'd rather stand for hours serving customers in boutiques and coffee shops and decided to go for the march intake than to start studying all over again as early as january... some even becoming teachers in their previous schools...teaching bm, science, music etc. etc....and get bullied by a bunch of naughty students...

18th year of presence in this world...seems that the 18th era is meant to be a challenging one for many of us...we are one big step ahead...facing dilemmas and difficulties in life...but we'll strive on...won't we? we just have to...no matter what happens...you are still you...and i am still i... we have to continue the journey of our lifes independently...

anyhow...all the best my dear friends...be optimistic whenever u can and never give up...you have my best support and encouragement^^...gambateh!!!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Integrative Report

Took some interest, aptitude and personality test in HELP last month...Just got the results last week...and surprisingly, unlike other seemingly fake tests...this is pretty accurate, at least 90% of it i bet...but durh...my dad paid 100 over bucks for quality rite^^

OASIS-2 Interest Schedule---inventory provides u with a ranking of 12 categories of occupation according to your interest...so my ranking turned out to be:(forget it if u don't understand some terms)

1 Leading-Influencing 8
2 Accomodating, Humanitarian 7
3 Artistic, Scientific, Protective, Mechanical, Industrial, Business Detail, Selling 6
4 Nature, Physical Performing 3
p.s. min score 1, max score 9

Sooo surprised that i've got highest for leading-influencing...(though mentioned it's accurate...this is the only thing that shocks me)... it's like...i always see myself as a timid and intovert kind..hmm...and yea...scored lowest in nature and physical performing...shows how un-environmental friendly and how lazy i am=.='

OASIS-2 Aptitude Survey---measures your developed abilities...to see whether your capability matches with your interests...and my ranking is:

1 Numercial Aptitude, Perceptual Aptitude, Manual Dexterity 9
2 General Ability 8
3 Spatial Aptitude 7
4 Verbal Aptitude 6
p.s. min score 1, max score 9

Yup, this is accurate...i love numbers...and i can write really fast haha...lower score in spatial due to my lack of creativity and imagination...and verbal...argh...i know my english is 'private limited' lar...

Manchester Personality Assessment---okay there are too many things stated in my report...so i'll just list down the scores of the big five factors...

1 Creativity 3
2 Agreeableness 6
3 Achievement 6
4 Extroversion 6
5 Resilience 2
p.s. min score 1, max score 10(but higher doesn't mean it's good and vice versa)

aha...this really shows the true part of myself...i'm always the less innovative one...i agree on things too easily...i'm easily apprehensive and worried...but i'm also participative, quality driven and communicative...

Integrative Summary---let me summarise this summary...hmm...

...generally supportive and sensitive to the needs of others...friendly...occupations you may want to explore include the area of PSYCHOLOGY(bingo!!!), Sociology, Social Work, Customer Service blah blah blah...but to excel, learn to work in groups instead of being alone...do not be over cautious...lack of self-confidence, indecisive...learn to make unpopular decisions and accept more responsibilities...


I really learn a lot more about myself through this tests...if u want to know more about yourself too, and you don't mind spending some money on it(esp to those filthy rich ones, but i'm not^^)....do give it a try...


Friday, January 25, 2008

Deep ravine

After months of inspections and speculations and observations, I think I really need to see a doctor... the mental one.

*cancels everything that are typed out.*

Maybe I shouldn't be explaining what is happening to me. Because the more I explain, the griever I get. And it won't make things right.

I need to re-recognise myself. I need to know which direction I'm heading to.

I can't be pathetic anymore.

I need to be tough and strong. (at least I need to act like one)

My heart's broken. My soul floating to nowhere.

Live in the present moment. That's what I'm always telling myself. But in actual fact I'm living at any time except for the present moment.

Change yourself first before you change other people. But i'm doing the other way round again.

Be optimistic. Yeah right...once in a blue moon.

Why can't I just be as happy and as responsible like the others???

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I JUZ WANNA SAY
DADDY AND MUMMY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
YOU TWO ARE THE BEST DADDY'S AND MUMMY'S ON EARTH!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahah.....

*sry got a bit too high*
but don't ask me why i love them...because...i juz love them lar durh...they didn't give me extra money or whatsoever lar^^

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Don't be disappointed

don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed don't be disappointed................................

lesson learnt: friday nights are always not a good one for me nowadays...

moral learnt: don't talk to the person in msn on friday nights...

p.s. i didn't cut and paste those words. i really typed it out on my own...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Past and Present

Have been studying in college for the past 2 weeks...the environment to me is kinda different than in secondary school...there are lots more english eds here...which makes it kinda difficult to me(so used to speaking rojak)...tho less homeworks but more assignments(50% internal assessment ar...damn)...and yup, the problem that i had years ago resurface--loneliness is the word...well i know being in a different environment and experiencing coll life is a real challenge for most of the post form 5-ians...but i don really know what i'm feeling lonely for...friends? teachers? surroundings??...it's juz...i lost that sense of belonging...i can't take good control of situations...sometimes i wonder 'why the hell am i in college?? is this what i have been looking for??'... that makes me think back about the days in form 4 and form 5...yup...the s5 era...i didn't really appreciate the lovely moments previously and now when it disappears...i'm missing it badly...the teachers..the friends...everything...honestly, i can't find any class as motivating and yet entertaining as 4s5 and 5s5 esp...i know many pp think that i look 'overcool' or really darn fierce haha...i apologize yea...maybe if time can be reversed i would use two toothpicks and stuck them in between my lips to keep my mouth wide open yea...to show that i've got a bright smile lol...but well i know...everything has become the past...and what we have to do is to live in the present moment and strive for a better future...i admit i'm not someone who can adapt easily to changes...i was so furious that time when i suddenly had to change from MUFY to AUSMAT... i was so furious recently because i might have to change from Chemistry to Calculus... etc. etc.
but NEVERTHELESS... i still have to accept those challenges rite...and be tough('you', don't say i'm acting tough again)...time is of course the best medicine...so yea...may things be right~

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Yerrr...

okay, i was being stupid again...
but really la........yerrrrrrrrrrrr..........
so disappointed........haiz.........
i hope there's someone who could tell me which day i'm lucky and which day i'm not....hmm...

Monday, January 14, 2008

New Phone

PETALING JAYA, 13 Jan- FINALLY, after over 12 months of bragging or wtvr-ing, Chiam Shien Yin, 17+, has got herself a new phone. Yes, you've got it right. A new phone. That means a hi to Sony Ericsson W660i...and a bye to Nokia 3100(there isn't even a camera function in this phone).
She bought the phone on that Sunday night at Digital Mall, located at section 14. From the process of going to the stall, choosing a suitable phone, downloading stuffs and paying the money etc....it only took about 30 minutes. 'I just want a new phone. So i don't really care which model i want. As long as it's either sony or nokia, a 3G phone...and of course...can take pictures lah...then it'll be fine for me,' she explained.
Unfortunately they marked up the price till rm730...if she had been there a week ago, it would only have been 600 over....ishhhh...i know it's funny...marking up the price for a phone, i guess they don't know what 'depriciation of asset' means...
Anyway, she's pretty glad about the phone. We don't have time to interview her further as she's now off to explore her phone again. So yups, chaozzz...

p.s. she refused to post a pic of her phone here as she's afraid of overwhelming attention...

Friday, January 11, 2008

i "hate" you

i hate you
because you're always right
as far as i could remember
i'm the one who's telling people
what's right and what's wrong
but you
made me seemed all so wrong

i hate you
because you're too kind
whenever i'm hot-tempered
or irrational
or c*******(i refuse to say the word)
you're always the one there
saying sorry again and again
making me so ashamed of myself

i hate you
because i'm jealous of you
you're always the more popular one
and you're the one who's smiling all the time
leaving me in tears
i know i shouldn't care
but it hurts-really hurts
though you claim that i hurt you even more

i hate you
because i love(d) you too much
because i need(ed) you too much
because i crave(d) for you too much
but nevertheless
i still hate you
*period*

Thursday, January 10, 2008

post emo

to those who advised me again and again to let go-- hmm thanks a lot!! and really sorry yea for the inconveniences that i've caused...i can't say i'm letting completely go now but well...there's a saying 'when there's nothing to do, then do nothing.' since i can't own the 'heart', i won't strive on to earn it...so i won't go in too deeply, but i do admit it's still very difficult to let go juz lyk that...but i believe i will...some day...rite?
juz came back from my third gym work-out...the pain on my muscles are less..hooray!!! lose at least 5 kg in three months... that's my target haha...it's hard but i can do it!!!and i'll be the next jessica alba...ahhaha...*day dreams*.... okay la..at least slimmer than before lar can rite...
college is a lil' boring when i've got a long break in between classes...yesterday i hanged out in the library from 12 30 to 4 juz to wait for the effing malaysian studies class...so sien lar...really hope i could drive soon...but i'm still falling asleep whenever i'm reading the undang book...ishhh...
p.s. to you: if u're reading this, sorry...i know i was crazy on tuesday night...but again...i might be lyk that again in future...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

crazy

took half an hour to get myself to sleep last night...not very long i know...but it's juz...that-stupid-effing-stuff-again....i'm bursting now...i don care what pp think...it has been almost a year and i don think i could stand any longer...emotional? durh...lyk i could help it...

Monday, January 7, 2008

first studying day in college

if u're still not informed, i'm currently in Sunway University College doing AUSMAT(Australian Matriculation). something lyk SAM la...don't ask me why i'm in that coz it really doesn't matter what i'm studying now since i'm planning to take psychology as my degree...
okay...classes officially started after we've got the time table, first class-Chemistry...all about atomic structures again...but it isn't that hard YET la...then it's English...ice breaking for the whole 2 hours...gosh a guy confessed he's a player...i supposed he wanted to scare off the girls coz he's a gay haha...good thing that my class ended earlier on 12 30...got dad to pick me up...tho i got the monthly bus pass thingy and i've still not used it even once=.="...waste money i know...
today so far was okay. i know things'll be getting harder but well...i really can't afford to be emo again lyk last year...i need to find the old Shien Yin back...the cheerful and happy-go-lucky one...hmm where is it i wonder??? khay finished crapping...and erm yea...i miss me^^

a serious start. perhaps

hey everyone! er...er...hi...and er...hi...pardon me for my severe word block disease...as you can see, I AM BLOGGING... i mean, i used to have blogs before that but i never really revealed to anyone else...coz it's too secretive...but nvm...since everyone's having one, i'm so gonna have one man hahaha...mostly it's all craps la..that's why it's named 'a crappy world'...hope your patience would last longer yeah..hehe...