p.s. ying hui...don't read this...coz it's not a cheerful post=p
*****
misson accomplished.
it was indeed a boring and peaceful week. but heartbreaking.
the serious problem resurfaced. after hearing the news, i, lyk what usually happened last year...felt a sudden intense chest pain...muscles went numb...stomach having butterflies...migraine...which leads to mental suffering....and too bad i got the news just before econs class...so practically the whole 2 hours lesson of mine was spent stoning, clenching fists, pressing on my stomach etc.etc....and i got emo for the rest of the day...
i know it's stupid. no one keeps their promises...many pp ffk me...should have gotten used to it...i'm always feeling guilty towards my friends...because no matter how much they've advised and scolded me, i'm juz not changing...i am still who i am...and it's definitely not a good sign...
i always wonder whether i'm having some form of depression...esp after witnessing my mom and aunties suffering from depression few years ago...maybe it has been passed down to me? just lyk my asthma when it started from my grandma to my dad, then to me and my sis...i thought i was juz being less confident and timid....but sometimes i just can't help getting moody and down over small matters for quite a long time...even leading to minor insomnia...
i know i shouldn't be having such problems since i've wanted to be a psychologist. it's a big no for psychologists to get emo themselves...i'll be getting all my patients emo-er!! but i don't seem to have other options... tot of accounting stuffs but it seems boring to me now(no offense to accountants-to-be)....acturial science seems too tedious for me...business? gah i hate dealing with money...of course art stuffs would be the bottom in my list...
maybe some of you would advise me to turn back to music. yes it has been my passion...but it's not now i can tell you...maybe i'll regret later....but i'm pretty sure now that i enjoy listening to music much more than playing it...let alone composing it...i know my name itself has a musical background to it..(both Melody and 旋韵)...lyk i must be a musician with that name!!...my parents were having high hopes on me too...babbling everyday that i should be performing with the piano, in the hope of getting me up on stage to be a reputable musician...luckily they're more considerate now when they're beginning to accept that i'm quite interested in being a psychologist....
don't feel lyk crapping already=p. an abrupt ending i know.
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