输了

‘大姐，你的方向感这么差，以后怎么驾车？’
and true enough...i was totally in a blur situation today...i donno where to stop...i donno how much to turn...i donno when to break...i donno how to do three point turning...i donno how to avoid cars that are coming...etc. etc.
'You are lyk XXX....childish...act tough...'
i thought i wasn't at first...i thought i'm much stronger and tougher than other pp and that i could solve my problems rationally...turns out that i'm still afraid to change...being as timid as ever...no sense of alertness...totally lack of confidence...
'...你只是说话没经过大脑...'
now i know......i'm idiotic...

事实证明了你比我更了解我自己...我输了...彻底地输了...讨厌~~~

p.s. those who's reading this...don't ask me why i'm emo or anything like that...i'm fine khay...i'm fine...(i'm not acting tough!! grrr....)

Tag TAg TAG

i actually took the effort to write out a tag list to make sure that i don't skip anyone's tags lol...appreciate it my friends...

FIRST TAG(by Ying Yang and Janez)

-You-
First Name:
Chiam(i'm proud of it i tell u)
Nickname:
ah Chiam(obviously)...Chiam po(i hate this the most)...ginger, orange, melody etc.
Name you wish you had:
i lyk my complicated name^^
What do people normally mistake your name as:
many pp..teacher esp...call me SHIN yin....shi yan is worst...
Birthday:
26th Sep 1990
Birthplace:
Assunta Hospital
Time of Birth:
7.14 pm
Single or taken:
Single and wish to be taken
Zodiac sign:
Libra
-Your Appearence-
How tall are you:
about 161 cm
Wish you were taller:
at least >165
Eye color:
brown
Eye color you want:
i'm okay wif it
Natural Hair color:
black wif slight brown
Current Hair color:
mixture of black, dark brown and white=.="
Short or long hair:
short
Ever dye your hair a bizarre color:
nope...but desperate to
Last time you did something dramatic with your hair:
i only did temporary straightening before...
Glasses or contacts:
Glasses. Contacts are troublesome.
Do you wear make-up:
very very seldom
Ever had hair extensions:
Nope
Paint your nails:
very very seldom too
-In the opposite gender-
What color eyes:
the color that Asians usually have
What color hair:
black or dark brown
Shy or Outgoing:
more towards shy
Looks or personality:
for eternity purposes, then i would say it's personality
Sexy or Cute:
cute followed by sexy sometimes
Serious or Fun:
more towards serious. but be fun when i need him to.
Older or Younger than you:
older or same age
A turn on:
keeps most of his promises.(at least more than 80%)
A turn off:
talks to you the first day and avoids u another day
Flowers or Chocolates:
chocolates!!!
Pepsi or Coke:
Coke > Pepsi(but i'm no fan of soft drinks)
Rap or Rock:
both
Relationship or One night stand:
Relationship
School or Work:
primary and high school
Love or Money:
Love
Movies or Music:
more towards music
Country or City:
country with fresh air pls
Sunny or Rainy days:
sunny+rainy=which means a fine day
Friends or Family:
family inspires me...friend motivates me
-Have you ever-
Lied:
durh
Stole something:
don't think so...
Smoked:
cross my grave first. BOO SMOKERS
Hurt someone close to you:
yes
Broke someone's heart:
juz hurt someone's heart...not really breaking it
Had your heart broken:
yes...almost all the time
Wondered what was wrong with you:
yes. wondering why am i getting irrational and emo at times.
Wish you were a prince/princess:
if i'm a guy, i'll be a prince
Liked someone who was taken:
yes
Shaved your head:
i'm not britney
Been in love:
yes
Used chopsticks:
yes, but i suck at it
Sang in the mirror to yourself:
no
-Favorites-
Flower:
rose maybe...but strong scented flowers will trigger off my sinus.
Candy:
not really a fan of it
Song:
changes all the time.
Scent:
anything not too strong.
Color:
green, purple, yellow, orange....
Movie:
don't have at the moment
Singer:
a lot wei...mostly guy singers who are good in singing and composing
Word:
lol...what the...aiyoh...(the list goes on...)
Junk food:
junk food makes pp fat
Website:
friendster, blogspot, youtube
Location:
my bed.
Animal:
dogs
Ever cried over someone:
juz a bit.
Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself:
confidence, determination and tranquility
Do you think you're attractive:
no
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose:
keep to the reality.
Do you play any sports:
at the moment...only gym
The rules:-
Link to your tagger and post these rules.
List (8) random facts about yourself and tag (8) people
1. i'm emo and sensitive at times
2. i'll go crazy when i lost my stationeries
3. i want to be a psychologist
4. i'm desperate to get rid of the excess fats in my body
5. i lovee to sleep
6. juz because i don't smile that often doesn't mean that i'm fierce or arrogant
7. i don't think exams are that important in determining your future
8. i seldom cry

i tag amanda leong and tham ying hui again^^....if they have time to do this...

******

SECOND TAG(by Suat Wei and Janez)

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 ppl in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify tham in their chat box the he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.
1. Have you given your first kiss away?
no.
2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? Why?
s5-ians, the old gang(amanda and ying hui etc.), huei mien....because i juz love them...
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
as mentioned...europe.
4. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
i wish i'm a guy...serious!
5. Who would i marry?
a guy...
6.Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
er...yea gua...
7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
my family and friends
8.If you win $1 million, what would you do?
i'll juz buy some clothes...and leave the rest for my mom to decide...because i'm lousy in managing my money...
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
-refer to previous previous tag-(if u're rajin enough to)
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
suat wei: of course she's good in everything coz she's my 'husband' hehe...
janez: fun, fun, fun!!!
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
feelings come first...
12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
-refer to previous tags-
13. Do you like black or white?
i lyk green.
14. If you have faults, would you rather the ppl around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
point them out to me...in an appropriate manner.
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
having my family and friends besides me all the time.
16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
i'm afraid i'm not...
17. What's on your mind right now?
secret....
18. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?a lot...
19. What's bothering you lately?
a lot too...
20. What is life about?
life is about gaining experiences and learning how to be a happy person.

i'm kind enough not to tag anyone. and i din change any questions btw.

Jia Yi sry i won't be doing your tag coz i've done that before edi...

i'm a goner.

so it's confirmed.

nothing heals.

and i mean nothing.

muahahahahaa(i feel lyk crying until i wanna laugh...)

......

.....

....

...

..

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the end.

oh btw...those who tagged me. will do it some other day. sry yea...

updates...

seems like the freaking computer's gonna take weeks to repair...i hope that dad'll come back earlier every night so that i can use his notebook to finish my assignments...ishhhhh...

that's why i'm struggling a lot a lot a lot in my english assignment. because of that effing computer.

will be bz for the next two weeks. as EE1's approaching. i wanna score high high high high.....

my first driving lesson didn't really turn out well. hope things'll be better in future.

just finished my malaysian studies final exam. luckily it's not damn hell difficult. so i think it's bye bye MS muahahahaha...

i ate japanese shabu-shabu and korean food last week....gooooooodddddd

my hamstring, hands and shoulders are aching after my gym training. and i think i'm lyk 1 gram thinner LOL.

and to those who scolded me out there: yes i know. i never learnt. i'm still that super idiotic unrealistic girl who fantasizes during every single minute of her lifetime. i just can't help it><

Tagged by tyy=D

Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1.) What is your dream when you were in your childhood?
According to my mom....one of my ambitions was to become a postwoman!!can u even believe that....

2.) Rainy days or sunny days? Why?
ok with both. but i'm anti-raining at night esp when i'm about to sleep. it's juz too noisy for me.

3.) Which do you like the most? Black or White?
i don wanna choose. coz i lyk green=)

4.) Who would you marry?
erm...a guy??....a guy who would show life-time commitments....

5.) Where is the place you would like to go most? Why?
Europe. i wanna 'meet' the deceased musicians lyk bartok, beethovan, chopin and brahms lol. and wherever that i've not been to before.

6.) What are you afraid of ?
rats!!...and sometimes myself esp when i'm getting emo....

7.) When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do?
piano(though it doesn't really work nowadays)....and SLEEP.

8.) What is the one thing you can never get tired of?
erm...sleeping, eating and playing^^....durh....okay i'm also fine with listening to other pp's probs.

9.) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? Or just keep the secret in the heart, observing by yourself?
yes, would confess. when time's right.

10.) What do u think of the person who tagged you?
he's fun, jovial, looks optimistic but seems emo to me on the inside=).


11.) What are the requirements that you wish for your other half?
intelligent(i don't mean getting super good results, but being intelligent in mind and heart)...wise, humourous, same age or older than me etc.etc. but usually the feelings come first before the conditions riteee....

12.) Which type of person do you hate most?
snobbish. lala-ish. over nerdies.

13.) Favourite part of a song?
Ntg in particular. coz my favourite song should be good in everything.

14.) Would you rather be someone else at this moment?
erm...not really. juz wishing that i'm more confident and disciplined.

15.)Do you ever admit it when you're emo?
sometimes.

16.) What will you do if the world ends tomorrow?
i'll pack my stuffs and move on to the new world. come on, nothing's permanent.

17.) Who's your favourite cartoon character?
pathetically....i seldom seldom seldom watch cartoons. my life has been filled with reality shows and tv series.

18.) TO which extent would you do for the special ones.
everything as long as it obeys my principle of life.

19.) Describe your dream house.
warm, spacious, cosy. more residents would be good. and I DEMAND FOR AN AV ROOM AND A PIANO ROOM muahahaha....

20) Does music make you lose control?
according to past experiences, it made some people lose control><

i'll juz tag my old gang. so minus-ing out those who don't go online frequently and don't blog. it narrows down to two pp:
1. Amanda Leong
2. Tham Ying Hui ^^

rosakkkkkk

THUNDERSTORM~~~~for the past two days.

and so my house phone's spoilt....luckily it's okay now...

and the cpu of the pc's spoilt.....wtf wtf wtf?!!...my english files are in that computer!!!

and the internet connection's spoilt....(using college comp now)....how can i live without msn?????

and the gate's spoilt....ntg that really matters but parents will keep 'honk!honk!honk!' so that would be kind enough to open the gate manually for them...

okay....i hope there're nothing else spoiling....

oh btw....'mission' sort of accomplished...many thanks to mei ting, amanda, xiao chin and bin yun....you guys rock man....

and for spm...9a1, 1a2, 3b3...ntg to comment about....but parents are pretty furious about me not getting full scholarships....now they're forcing me to apply ASEAN scholarship(wth impossible for me to get lar...) and some Japanese scholarship(lyk i wanna further my studies in Japan...)

*bangs walls*

haywire.

two more days. and spm results're gonna be out.
not that it mattered that much to me honestly. i'm think i'm prepared to accept wtvr outcome it's going to be. since i know i didn't sow hard enough to reap my fruit.
it's another thing that bugs me a lot. after lyk...3 months??...i donno what'll be my reaction then. i juz hope everything'll turn out fine, though i'm still selfishly thinking that the past might become the present juz for the sake of my happiness...
and i still think that i'm not a flirt. maybe i'm juz...multiple-ly inclined?? but i know i'm just trying to avoid the truth...to bury things deep deep down in my heart..nowhere to be heard, nowhere to be seen...but i kinda enjoy this feelings...makes me a more optimistic girl...

i'm really lack of discipline. and responsibility. and pretty lousy time management. how the hell am i going to excel in my studies???

p.s. i hope my answer to the question would be a no...

late update again sorry.

so in the end, i'm Secretary of ECHO 2008.
practically everyone wished me good luck because i seemed to be taking the most hectic and tiring job...well we'll see how it goes...glad to have janice as my assistant^^

okay back to studies. crapped throughout the essay for my econs quiz...woke up at 4 30 on friday to study accounts...turned out horrendous as well because i didn't really practise much...but good thing that i've got 100 for my previous accts open book test heheh...and 89 for topic test...should've got 100 for both actually...since i've already learnt most of them during form 4 and 5...ishhh...so now it's time to focus on 3 english assignments and malaysia studies assignment as well...crappp!!!!

well i shall not express how high and excited i was last night when i was checking election results online till 2 something lolz...i juz hope that whoever wins will really contribute to the society for the next 5 years to make Malaysia a better country...and my parents who had juz gone to indonesia were freaking worried about me and my sis esp on this day after the election...but phew...luckily not much of a havoc yet...

college life makes me understand that life is not as easy as it seems and i've also learnt to see different people in different perspectives hmm...anyway i hope i'll put it through...

student leadership camp 2008. not bad.

departed from sunway at 3 30pm last friday. we actually took one hour plus to reach Kuang bcoz the bus driver went to the totally opposite direction which was wrong obviously and he took half an hour to u turn. nvm about that. our camp site is the MBS recreation and training centre. it's really nice and cooling. big place, complete facilities, decent double decker beds etc. etc. though i don't understand why the shower head is directly above the toilet bowl><...all the females(32 of them) were supposed to sleep in one dormitory...not really crowded but it gets freaking freaking cold at night~~~....

the activities were just the usual writing mission statements, core values, war cry, personality tests, station games, building tower activitiy blah blah blah...to develop leadership qualities u know. my group name's Delta and i think it's the best group i've been in since my camping era. everyone is just so nice and friendly, teamwork really unites us all...and a very caring leader too...though i juz found out that he's also in ausmat hahaha...guess what...we're supposed to present a sketch entitled 'Spiderman: the silent movie version'...so in the end, our spiderman Sean put on a great show because of his comical looks hahaha...oh and i was one of the hands of Octavius...the bad octopus u know...so my job was juz waving my hands lyk mad lol...good thing that we got second place heheh...

many many more activities to elaborate on but aiyah...lazy larr....btw mr terence told us a story about a no face girl in Sunway college...he said few years ago there's this girl who was madly in loved wif a guy but the guy never liked her at all...so one day she stood on the balcony at fourth floor and told him to accept her or else she'll jump off the building...the guy tot she was joking but in the end she really did jump...fortunately there was a renovation project down there and so she fell on that canvas sheet...her face was facing the sheet and everyone was laughing at her because she didn't die and so she no face larr.........get it??!....supposed to be a lame joke lar lol...only our dear mr echo advisor could afford to invent such stories><"

the obvious consequence of such a compact weekend was getting so damn tired during lessons...i think i might get a price in olympics for the yawning competitions...oh yeah...got back my chemistry topic test results...82 out of 100...i'll call this below average bcoz the paper was kinda easy and many of them got 90 over and some of them actually got 100....this is failure man...Shien Yin u gotta work harder!!! sobs...juz had my applics test yesterday and thank god...i think i did so much better than my previous 6-out-of-23-applics-quiz...but still made a few careless mistakes though....i need perfection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arghhhhhhhh.....

i actually have the time to blog because i'm waiting for echo meeting which is at 5...now's only 3 16...though it's better to spend time studying for accts test tomorrow...yup and echo election will be afterwards too...not hoping for really high posts....juz go wif the flow...i'm okay wif anything seriously... because whichever post i'll get...the whole team'll be damn bz for this two months to rush for the first publication...good luck everyone...

is everyone going back to school for spm results??...because i'm still undecisive about it...mainly because my parents will be at indonesia that day so no tranport...and i think mr.j's gonna teach us how to complete the assignments...so maybe i'll follow xiao chin to chs after her cat class ends at 11am...and i really really really hope i can make it for the s5 gathering that day as i'm so eager to see you guys...long time no see man!!! esp liow jie hui...i'll be staring at her super short hair for the whole day hahahaha...

i shall end now...i apologize for my boring and lond-winded and lame post, and previous posts as well...because i hardly have the time when i'm fully alert and joyful and all to be able to blog more interesting posts...

p.s. so i think it'll be chocolates. coz i can't afford to buy toy cars or whatsoever.

p.p.s. oh yes....there are hot and cute guys in the camp!!!! wheeeee......amanda don't go and tell everyone yea^^

p.p.p.s this is for you loong huei mien. to replace my guilt towards you lol. so erm yea...what shall i say...hmm....STUDY HARD LAR AIYOH.